


Little Lost Fox Zero: The Prequel

by Teland



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Blood and Gore, Bloodplay, Established Relationship, First Time, Heavy BDSM, Hopeful Ending, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Problematic Relationship Choices, Romance, Scarification, Self-Mutilation, Sexual Assault, Suicidal Ideation, Under-negotiated Kink, ish???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-05-15
Updated: 2000-05-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 01:43:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 39
Words: 38,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21046244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teland/pseuds/Teland
Summary: Finding the patterns at the heart of things, old and new.*co-written with The Spike, currently arguing gently with the form about letting that be acknowledged...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, here's what happened: 
> 
> Twenty years or so ago, the incredible Anna S. wrote a story called "Little Lost Fox" in which she took XF characters and dumped them in a Star Trek milieu that had a lot of the darkness we were all taunted with in terms of the glimpses we were given of the Maquis -- before Voyager sanitized everything interesting out of them. The Spike and I... well, our eyes fell out of our heads, and we started drooling and gibbering, and we were JUST! SO! FULL! of IDEAS!
> 
> Eventually, we went begging, hats in hands, to Anna, and asked her if we could play in her sandbox. She said yes, and this story happened. This... weird, weird story happened. *laughs* Which, theoretically, could be considered to take place *mumbledy* years before Anna's does.
> 
> Sadly, Anna's story isn't up on this archive, and isn't really anywhere I can link to it in good conscience, but it's more than worth trying to hunt down a copy. It's just as lush and *original* as everything else she ever did, and, well, there's a reason why she will *always* be one of my all-time porn *idols*. 
> 
> All you *really* need to know before diving into this is the following:
> 
> 1) We didn't come up with this idea.  
2) Anna S. is really fucking awesome.  
3) We... really didn't have a beta for this, as all our friends ran away in horror when we told them the premise, and shared some highlights. Nonie tried her best, though.  
4) I was as surprised by the pairings as you are, friend. Go with it.

Kronos was a beautiful world, gold and green and fragrant with the scents of wide, wide seas and billions of growing things.

The founding colony had been a caste-heavy thing. The ruling class was rife with retiring Starfleet elite and their families, the rest a multi-racial hodgepodge of the desperate and indebted. The failed, little-known Rakshan empire had fallen to the Federation and fallen hard, leaving billions of poor rustics. 

When Kronos had been opened for colonization, when Markwell had been appointed First Governor, he'd looked at the dying hordes of refugees transported to Gat and Horus and saw opportunity... The former followers of Mander Raksha had been offered what could only be considered a miraculous bargain -- parcel upon parcel of fertile ground in return for pledges of fealty. The fine print was ignored, for the refugee planets were grey, cold rocks, and the Rakshani were dying. 

Hardly anyone had refused. Governor Markwell had started his colony with a grateful, willing army of slaves. Kronos grew strong quickly, the export business exploding with strong, sweet wines and the most perfect fruits within parsecs. The climate was sweet. The seas were calm. The native predators were small, and easily trained. 

It was paradise, and if the former Rakshani had trouble freeing themselves from their tethers to the land.... Well, who really wanted to go? And so it was for generations. 

No one cared that the "free" education came with commitments to planet service in the Governor's private armies, for there were no battles to fight. 

No one paid attention to the strict population controls, for the Governor was generous with farm technology. Extra children were given unto the state, and there were many holos of grateful adults in the Governor's colors. 

No one noticed that they never came home. 

No one noticed that the Governor's last name was *always* Markwell, that there was always a sharply patrician face in the holos. 

A dynasty was built within the fastness of the Federation, a planet was made a plantation, and no one said a word. 

Tourism was high, and there had never, ever been a happier population. Even Risa's inhabitants grew weary. Kronos had the perfect mix of real life and idyll, and Jeffrey Spender wanted, *needed* to get out. 

He was of the First Families, raised in tasteful splendor, educated by the best and brightest, loved absently by his wide-eyed mother, loving his absent father. It wasn't the plight of the proletariat -- he was well-versed in many versions of the hushed Rakshani war, and he knew these people would never have been so healthy, so well-cared for under the madly pious Mander. 

It wasn't even the rigid class system that meant he could never be sink lower than the rank of an Elect, never rise to Governor. Jeffrey was less than ambitious. 

It was the Researchers. 

It was what they did. 

His father's work, and his birthright. Complex upon complex of coldly brilliant men and women doing things to the Extras illegal in damned near every society in the known universe. Suddenly it was clear why his social life had always been just slightly more protected than the others of his class, why he'd been encouraged to raise plants instead of pets. 

And his father had shown him the vista of experimentation, had clasped his hand on Jeffrey's shoulder and smiled. 

Kronos was lush, Kronos was lovely and always as perfectly ripe as a Sevenmonth rosoma. And Kronos was at the cutting edge of Federation medical science for a very simple reason. 

Jeffrey had held his breakfast until he'd gotten back to his quarters. 

And after a very long shower, Jeffrey began to plan.


	2. Chapter 2

Walter frowned in concentration, hunched closer to the crackle of static from the subspace radio. Mostly it was just an incoherent garble of intermingled signals snatched out of the ether. At least that's what an untutored ear would have heard. But Walter's ear was anything but untutored in this particular art. 

And he knew what he was looking for. 

Key phrases, odd words -- the signs and signals of that particular Federation code he'd come to associate with *them*. 

The nearly nameless, nearly faceless 'them'. Those who would be held accountable. 

If by no one else, than him. His mission. Well, mission sounded noble. And this wasn't anything to do with noble. It was.... It just was. No more way to explain it but that. And it was enough explanation for the only two people who counted on the *Rose of Sharon*. Enough to send him weeks and parsecs out of his way on the basis of a single garbled radio transmission he'd picked up on the edges of this galaxy. 

Enough to keep him here for four more standard days, staying awake on stimulants and field rations, trying to pinpoint the source. 

While the universe whizzed by in hyperspace and the timestamp on his ostensible cargo neared its expiration date. And Alex paced. 

As if the thought of his name summoned him like a demon, Alex was there. Pale hand slapped down on the console hard enough to make Walter wince in sympathy and irritation. 

He raised his head, ready to mete out the discipline he knew the wild boy required and stopped and the unexpected storms in those ocean eyes. 

"This music *hurts*," Alex said. 

Not complaint, not a whine or whinge but pained puzzlement. 

Walter winced again, inside this time. Of course that's what it was. 

Music was the current lesson. Had been since the stop of Gerrelian which had unfortunately or fortunately coincided with the carnal carnage of the Month of Knives and Woodwinds. 

"This isn't music," Walter began. 

"It has patterns," Alex said. Walter nodded, impressed once more by the hidden depths to Alex's thought processes. He wished he had the time and patience to explain... 

"It's like dry water over smooth rocks," Alex went on. Talking more to himself than Walter, it seemed, though Walter's presence was clearly necessary to the process. As was the use of senses Walter wondered at. Alex's hands roamed over the body of the speaker and he pressed himself against it, nudging Walter out of the way. 

Four days of fatigue and a growing sense of the futility of this particular sidetrip were enough for him to give way. He slumped back against the console, rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. The smell of Alex so close -- not quite clean, warm musk of sleep and those odd esters he produced, stirred him a little. He thought about pulling Alex to him for a quick fuck, knew he didn't even have the energy to fantasize about it decently. 

Alex's body covered the speaker completely now, head tucked in so that his slightly pointed ear was flush with the woofer. His eyes were screwed shut, face a studied scowl. 

A thought struck Walter. 

"So how does it hurt?" he asked. 

"Hurts sharp," Alex said. "Burns sour..." he trailed off, lost in his own thoughts. Whatever the hurt he wasn't moving away from it. In fact, he seemed to Walter to be trying to climb inside the speaker. It annoyed Walter, though he couldn't put a name to why beyond his general ill-humor. 

"Talk sense..." he said, harder than he meant to let show. Alex's eyes sprang open. Scanned Walter's face as if reading subtler signs there than Walter ever saw in the mirror while he depilated. 

Slowly he disengaged from the speaker, cautiously rested a hand on Walter's tired knee raising faint sparks there. But his eyes never left Walter's face. 

"The voices," he said. "They all follow lines...arcs. They flow one way--" he made an odd wiping motion with his free hand. Back and forth. "But there's one...thing...Not a line. It cuts across. It's green where everything else is cream and thin black strands." 

And slow, deep dawning making sense of Alex's synaesthetic constructions. 

"You're hearing something that doesn't fit?" 

"Yes!" And oh Alex's face opened to such bright delight at being *understood*. And Walter's heart ached for it, but he thrust that down hard. Bore down on the single ray of hope. "Show me, Alex," he said. 

And those eyes, so busy reading the secret instructions written on his face in the air into which he would next more -- turned inward. He could almost hear the whir of tiny mechanisms engaged. Walter found himself up on his knees, leaning forward as if to pull the information out. And then Alex was nodding, up on his feet -- so graceful -- to lay artists fingers on the interface of the starmap generator. Drawing what at first seemed to be nothing more than a wonky grid of thin, green lines. Walter watching open mouthed as the thing took shape before his eyes. 

A map. A fucking three dimensional map. From sound and static and -- god help him -- something he must have learned listening to Walter's old Earth recordings of Miles Davis and Bach. And arrowing through the center -- that line of wrongness, a directional sign leading right to the source. A solar system. A handful of planets around an M-class star. And the joy broke so strongly he almost laughed, clapped Alex on the shoulder hard enough to rock him. 

And Alex's face, warily pleased. 

"I did well?" 

"That you did, boy," Walter said, taking over the controls, hard fingers over Alex's long slim ones to punch the map in, watched the co-ordinates, identification keys blossom on the screen. A green world. A lush world. A place that should have been another Eden for sentient life to flourish and grow. That had become instead a mere windowbox for the Federation to plant its seeds -- and worse, a breeding ground for the unseen blight he was sworn to cut from its heart. 

Kronos, the map named the place. Factoids -- history, politics, geography -- scrolled by along the bottom of the screen. Walter ignored them for the moment -- plenty of time to study them on the way in-planet -- but for now his energy had returned. A sonic shower was in order, some food, maybe even sleep. And Alex, definitely time for Alex. And then they would go right some wrongs.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex didn't understand. 

The months with Skinner had made this an old thing, a familiar thing and it made him want to hug the ground and tear and tear until he'd dug grooves in the grey with his nails. 

Skinner had clipped his nails very soon after he'd brought Alex to his ship, destroying years of strengthening, sharpening and then whispered something about "aesthetics." 

He wasn't sure he understood that, either. It seemed so foolish to limit the things you found pleasing. 

But there was nothing he could do but accept this constant low-grade strangeness, this forcible softening of himself for the pleasure of Skinner. Because it was the older man's pleasure, and because that was what he was here for, somewhat. 

The borya had left him on the sprawl, in grey-orange dust, among the bones, and Skinner had come from the sky and taken him in and away. Fed him. Gave him water so different from everything he'd tasted that he'd thought it poison. 

The concepts of "sweet" and "pure" had been among the first to be taught, and they were frightening things because there seemed to be something he was missing to make them right. He had snarled, bit at Skinner. 

And tasted his strap. 

Alex had taken it silently, knowing this was deserved, knowing it was *needed*. The borya had taken him easily, his burrow was unearthed by the force of the Eight, a windstorm coming down and down from the far Dagger peaks to whip across the settlements of thieves and killers, the place of his home. And because he had failed to defeat the Eight the borya took him and his belongings. 

He had failed, and so he was beaten, broken systematically at the hips, shoulders, and fingers in The Pattern. The origin was lost, meaningless now. The Pattern remained, and it was through the pattern that corak such as he could come to be reborn, to try again and struggle for this something they all longed for. 

The truth of their homeworld's name... 

Pax was nothing but a word for Alex, and uncomfortable sudden blockage at the back of the throat as if the word itself was offended by the improper nature of its vessel and when Skinner had asked -- 

"What is this world?" 

\-- Alex had spat pax to the ground, and found himself pleased at how meaningless it was in this dark grey place, this soft place... but then had come the lash and it was the most perfect thing to have a Skinner who would do this for him so freely. Each blow was binding, each lost droplet a portion of his cursed mortality, gone forever to be replaced with Skinner's professional touch and Skinner thick tool hard on his tongue. 

So perfect and it had seemed as though Alex would understand all this after all. But the lessons came on the same flood of the other man's come. Alex had knelt to take it all, pleased and right to have his punishment and destiny meted out with such exactitude, but Alex didn't understand. 

The concept of time often eluded him, its passages empty and strange for the boy. Always more lessons, always on his knees. Alex was trapped by the crudity of his own metaphor, helpless in the thrall that bound him between Skinner's knowledge and Skinner's fine cock. He had no knife to free himself, he'd been as thoroughly declawed as fired chapak for the Moon Nights, he was nothing but a slave here. 

That he understood. 

But it had taken him far too long to make Skinner take him as he wished, days and days of language and training in meaningless things before he had finally flipped him over and driven inside. Skinner had bit off every scream in the flesh of Alex's shoulder, and he'd felt the blood flow and he'd cried out and come hard and hot on the man's shiny-warm blanket. 

And when he'd licked it clean, as he'd been taught, Skinner had stroked him, praised him. Took Alex in his arms and squeezed tight, so tight it made him breathless and Skinner's peace was so *real*... 

Yes, that he understood, and it was all part of his ownership. 

Even if Skinner had not taken his property immediately, as was custom. 

And now, even now, he would make Alex wait for too long. Alex had seen the heat in his eyes, the pleased appraisal of Alex and his abilities. He had done well, Skinner had said so, and perhaps Skinner thought to spare Alex his cock because of this? 

The thought was ugly, eminently killable. He was *almost* sure Skinner didn't use his fuck as punishment -- not all owners did, after all -- but what if he did? What if he would only get the man's touch if he struggled, if he fired Skinner's thoughts as well as his groin? 

It was all too easy to understand that, but he didn't *want* it to be that way. His life, his self, all that he was was forfeit to Skinner until the day he died as he was supposed to on the sprawl. That's how things *were*. But he wanted the man's cock whenever he could get it, needed to know where he stood, or lay, or bent, or knelt. 

Alex would tell Skinner this, and find out which way Skinner would lead him. 

It was the only way.


	4. Chapter 4

After four days, the sonic was as good as water. Walter Skinner stood in a white cloud of his own dead skin cells and let the dry heat and fizz ease sore, cramped muscles. Gritty eyes. 

He touched the flush and a dry, desert wind poured down across his scalp and back. So good. Too good. The temptation to stay and bask was strong. How long since he'd *relaxed*? 

And steeled himself against the thought. Slapped the shower off and stepped out. Better not to even ask those kinds of questions any more. Relaxation was for men with lives, men with families, men who's work ended at the end of the day. And he'd given that up along with his comm badge and his collar pips. 

Better not to even think of himself as a man anymore, but as a tool. A weapon, charged and aiming at the heart of the enemy. 

//oh so noble...// he snarled at his ignoble and stubble-dusted mug in the mirror and slid the depilating wand across his jaw. 

But even so, he wished it -- *willed* it to be true. He needed to be that. To have that strength. A man might look at the life he had chosen -- that he'd had no choice but to choose, but never mind that -- and despair. 

And with that word Walter ruefully recognized the familiar strains of the black melancholy that too much time and too little action plucked upon him. 

Thank Jesu they were in motion now. Or thank the boy... 

Warm flush of something like pride, something like wonder at the thought of Alex pulling together all his strangeness and all the things Walter had stuffed his head with to come up with...exactly what he needed. 

Uncanny really. And not the first time he'd presented Walter with something both unasked for, unthought of and yet, once in hand -- perfect: the perfect tool for some minor repair. The perfect spice to perk up some reconstituted pap to the point of edibility. The perfect sprawl of limbs across his bed... 

Walter frowned at his reflection. 

How had he missed this? 

Well...easy enough to see why if he had ever cared to *look*. It wasn't just the strangeness of the boy -- though Walter knew without a doubt Alex was the strangest creature he had ever come upon -- it was that Walter simply didn't know how to fit Alex in with his books and his swords and his bitter memories and all the things he'd gathered around him and labeled 'Walter Skinner's life'. 

Alex, like this life, had been imposed upon him -- not from outside but by moral imperatives he still had somehow not managed to shake. 

Had come onto his ship, as undemanding and undeniable as an ancient Vulcan godstone -- too big to shelve, clashing with all the furniture and yet too beautiful and somehow -- yes, the metaphor held -- sacred, to be dumped or sold. 

Undemanding, pliable, as plastic as a shapeshifter to his needs... 

...and still, not *invisible* enough to be taken for granted. 

God, invisible. Walter almost laughed. Alex was anything but invisible. And his mind flashed him back to that first terrifying glimpse: teeth, eyes, a matted fall of hair like the tangled mane of some ill-kept beast. A spider- sprawl of limbs shrieking through the air towards him... 

Hard to reconcile that fanged and feral creature with the quiet, studious...well, *creature* that currently prowled his ship, speaking politely, acceding to any demand or request. And fooling Walter not at all. 

So, he *had* known. He'd known and understood the nature of this harmonic convergence, if not its name or its intent. Had known and turned a blind eye, because to see it meant he'd have to take it on. 

And tools do not take on other tools. 

Only men do that. And he'd given up far too much of manhood for this idiotic, irrefutable quest to turn around now and accept something so meager as this boy's strange 'companionship'. 

And yet...and yet... that infuriating moral compass behind his breastbone spun and spun... hung on the myriad wrongnesses of taking what he knew was not so much a gift of obedience, but a tithe. Of taking with no heed to what was being begged. Not that the boy would ever *mind* being utterly his slave. He could feel (always could if he hadn't been averting his eyes) the burning hunger in the boy to simply be commanded. Used. 

And by the customs and the rules of both his culture and what he could make of Alex's, that would be right enough to suit them both. 

But he knew he wasn't up to that. It would give him too much pleasure, too much pain and ultimately too damn much to brood about in the long deep reaches of space to make it worth either of their whiles. 

But the thing he was proposing was far worse. 

It was one thing to strip your own life of all but bones and sinews, gears and wheels, leaving only enough to get from zero hour to zero hour. But to flay another, for no greater reason than that it's...expedient... 

Even if that other offers himself up to be flayed with more enthusiasm than is wholesome. 

Which reminded Walter, he really had meant to give some thought to figuring out an *appropriate* punishment for bad behavior. 

At any rate, he decided, he'd brooded on the matter enough. He wiped the last of the powder that was left of his beard off his face and cinched the belt of his robe. There would be time enough to consider the problem of Alex after they had dealt with the blight on Kronos. 

For the moment all he wanted to do was throw himself into bed for the few hours he needed to dent that bone-deep fatigue and then get to work on his plan to infiltrate the Federation's finest defenses. 

He would have done just that, too, except when the door of the head slid open, Walter found himself staring into the eyes of a naked and not entirely submissive looking Alex. 

The sight froze him to the spot, for a moment. 

Naked, Alex exuded an almost tangible aura of menace -- as though a field usually damped by clothing had come to life with a crackle. 

He was clearly older too, than the wild boy who lived in Walter's mind. The pale skin, just this side of metallic luster, showed the definition of a young man's musculature, not a boy's. 

And his face was deadly calm. 

Walter felt uneasily vulnerable in his robe. Tempted to throw it off and cloak himself in the heavier, hairier armor of trained fighting man. 

Instead he simply set his jaw, presented the bulwark of his disapproval in his face. 

"What is it you want, Alex?" he said, low and flat, somewhere between question and the baring of territorial teeth. 

And Alex neither flinched nor bared his own. Simply blinked: another fact recorded for the mill and reached out lay cool fingertips on Walter's collarbone. 

"I want you to fuck me," Alex said. "Because I want you to." 

"You..." the word came out before anything like a sentence had formed in Walter's mind. He felt his body flush from nape to heels, a strangely chilling heat that centered in his groin, hefted his cock to upright in an instant. 

Quick glance showed him Alex was no less aroused -- his cock rolling as it thickened to jut, ivory and blunt, from its bed of black curls. 

Walter opened his mouth to answer, found that the sentence still hadn't managed to gel, although any number of thoughts were circling in the cobwebby shadows left by the morning wallow. 

Alex, head cocked to one side attentively, took advantage of the hesitation. Pressed his palm flat against Walter's chest, just above his heart. 

Not much pressure, but Alex's hand was unnaturally cool. Skinner could feel, or imagined he could feel, each finger, each line and mound of palm. His own flesh seemed fever hot under the touch. Strangeness, strangeness. The coolness of Alex's hand seemed to seep through his skin, shimmer there in the thin sheath between dermis and muscle, diffusing through his flesh like some kind of contact poison. Hell, maybe it was. He thought he should have moved by now. 

He tried, found his hand came up easily as ever. Rested his own blunt fingers on the more fragile strut of Alex's collarbone. Mirroring. Had he meant to do that? 

"Alex?" he asked, hearing the sound of his own voice as rusty and old. "Are you doing something?" Again that long, calm consideration. That tiny birdlike tilt of head, but Alex's face was slowly folding into its puzzled frown. 

"I...might be," Alex said. Guileless. "Must I stop?" 

"Can you?" Skinner asked. 

Brittle concentration crossed the boy's face like pain. Faded. He moved his palm, slid it down Skinner's chest, the friction of skin tugging at the hair there. Skinner didn't notice a difference. The hand still felt cool. Slippery. Odd. And very good against his skin. 

The palm continued moving. Slowly circled, chafed a nipple. Walter licked lips he hadn't realized had gone dry. 

"I would like very much to hurt you someday," Alex said. "I think you would be beautiful." 

And Skinner had to bite back what threatened to be a truly eviscerating moan, could not stop the forward buck of his hips. His free hand shot up, grabbed Alex's wrist. 

Ground a little on the bones. 

Alex smiled. Honest smile. Childlike. Pure. 

"Yes. And knives," he whispered, nodding. "The curved knives, please..." 

"Shut. Up." Walter growled. No anger in it but implacable firmness. Slow twist of his wrist and he was turning Alex, torquing his arm high on the smooth, scarred back. 

His other arm reaching to clasp the taut bow of his throat. And as Alex's ass pressed back to intercept his cock he realized that once again, without having been asked, his boy had handed him the perfect tool to fill his needs.


	5. Chapter 5

Alex felt himself being fitted to the vast, hot canvas of Skinner's body and something cold and insinuating slid up under his skin and tugged. He was bare, raw against the rough chafe of skin and hair and man. His shoulder burned with the pressure, his body complained, begged to be allowed into a more comfortable position. 

As always, the cries of his own cells were music, true music and pure and he wanted to sing with it, something old and quiet and smooth, that would meld smoothly with the sound of wind through bone. 

It was not until Skinner loosened his good grip that Alex realized he'd spoken. 

He froze then, frightened and on the edge of rage, though Skinner had not moved. His body remained against his own, but... Alex growled. Skinner was holding him as you would hold a foolish child, loose and contemptuous. 

"Are you ordering me?" 

Skinner's voice came low and simple at his ear, and while Alex's instincts screamed to twist, jerk, break the other man's unremarkable nose, there was something, something... 

Skinner flexed against him, squeezing his wrist for a brief moment of pleasure. *This* was what they wanted. Alex knew it, it was so, why did Skinner not comply? 

Another mystery, something so important and close -- Ah, but at least he knew now that Skinner would never punish him with his cock. He should have known, should have understood that the man would not be so... easy. 

Alex loosened himself, a conscious act of surrender, frustration running hot over his body, need taking every lost bit of tension and transferring it to his aching, aching cock. 

"I will not order you." 

Skinner released him entirely, then, and Alex whirled quickly, met the other man's gaze. A flow of something across the strange dark eyes, a ripple in an oily pool. It might have been emotion, it might have been a shift in his own blood flow. Only the muties had eyes like that at home, the ones that had to be exposed.... Alex shook it off when he felt the other man's gaze lock on his face and pull. 

It was a look of cold curiosity, a rich man's knife teasing the flesh away from bone, another use of himself that Alex approved of heartily. 

He hadn't been taken by just *anyone* -- Skinner would learn all, take all.... 

"What do you want me to do?" 

"I didn't call you here." 

Alex lifted his chin, defiant of Skinner's ability to put a knife there before he could -- Alex cursed himself silently, he was unable to concentrate. Skinner reached in and thumbed his face, pressed crude and even along his cheekbone, back to tug at his ear once, sharply. 

Alex let the rolling sound out, unwilling to resist that tiny indulgence. 

Skinner curled his hand, ran thick knuckles over Alex's cheek. *Was* he making demands? How much could he take? How far could he go? The first -- the only other -- man who had saved his life had not survived long. Alex had not risen to protect him from the chapak. Alex was cursed under every star he knew, though he had not told Skinner this.... 

He searched himself, tried to find how deeply his desire for redemption ran, but found the answer blocked by a curious mist. It filled the air like smoke, it swallowed him whole -- 

Skinner had stopped moving, was studying again. What had he shown? Rage? Proof of his unfitness? 

Without warning, Skinner backhanded him. One sharp blow, more power behind it than Alex had been willing to admit was there. Skinner, after all, was not of his stock. Alex ran his tongue over his lip, tasted blood and felt the first of him burst out of his cock with shameless joy. 

"Where were you?" 

"I was remembering." 

Skinner shrugged off his robe, threw it casually to the side. Alex took in the powerful thighs and spun to his hands and knees, willing to stay down here if that was what the other man wanted -- 

"Why did I strike you?" 

Alex's teeth ached to tear the man's throat out, but he breathed instead. Breathed in the room, the dust of one man. He had not taken a companion since long before Alex then. The territory was nearly pristine.... He longed to rub his bleeding cheek along the bedpost, to sit patiently and watch himself soak into the old, old wood. 

"I don't know." 

"Think." 

He breathed in deep and scented the man himself, calmed himself with the sharp, rising scent of his want, his *need*. Watched the man's cock wave and shift with each breath, so dark and heavy. Skinner grunted and it brought Alex's eyes up... 

The crudely formed face had... softened. Not the slack, mindless hunger he wanted to see, wanted to feel deep inside, but something... affectionate. 

For hungering him? 

"Does it please --" 

"Answer me, Alex." 

He let the words out in a snarl, uncaring momentarily. "You don't like it when I am not focused completely on you." 

Skinner laughed then, a bark of true humor. Alex knew -- he had analyzed it for anything other. He didn't understand... 

"Is that so wrong, Alex? What predators must you watch for here?" 

It was like finding yourself nothing but a hilt when you thought yourself a blade, empty and useless and wrong. And the truth only came when the blade clicked home. To be so foolishly chained to a concept with no meaning here.... Alex had forgotten to adapt. Such a small thing within the context of this pleasure, this blood and sweat, but, if allowed to remain, it could kill them both. A shaming lesson for one his age and former status, but he knew the reaction wouldn't please Skinner. 

Or perhaps it would, but not as much as, "I understand." 

Skinner nodded, crossed his arms. Alex watched the muscles flex inexorably with each small movement, tried to taste the air. And then simply crawled forward, nudged the other man's thighs apart with his face, and rubbed his cheek along one strong column. Smooth on the inside, burning his face... 

Alex groaned, pressed hard against the muscle, trying to get inside, to push his blood in to flow with the other man's. Skinner's hand fell on his head, pushed him back. Watched him closely, but Alex couldn't really pay attention to the scrutiny this time, not with the other man's cock bobbing at his cheek. 

He closed his eyes, breathed Skinner's sex, breathed more, and more and each taste hooked onto his cock, his self and yanked. He could hear a low moan with each exhale now and he thought he might float away altogether, fly apart without something to ground and solidify him. 

Make him real. 

Skinner pushed him back a little further, and Alex whimpered, but then the hand settled on the hinges of his jaw, pressed in viciously, forced his mouth open... 

And oh, this was fine, perfect. Pain was rarely regretted, but when it came with purpose, contact, a fire of something tight and tight between himself and another it was something to be craved, worshipped. Skinner moved him roughly into position and slid his cock in, slow, steady, ruthless. 

Alex opened his throat and moaned his pleasure, not bothering to edit out the small note of triumph. This was what he'd wanted, and yet there could only be more... Skinner settled his other hand on the back of Alex's skull, toying with the casual knot of his hair -- short and bound to get shorter if Alex had his way, he did not care for the smooth waves of it, he missed the bones -- before simply weaving his blunt fingers in and holding Alex in place. 

Skinner's other hand still lightly tortured the bones of his jaw. Alex held still, and was rewarded with the first, second smooth thrust scraping against the flesh of his throat. But then the other man paused. 

Alex moaned again and felt Skinner's entire frame shudder. He worked his throat in a ragged series of half-instinctive swallows and felt several hairs work themselves free of his scalp. Finally, he just pushed his face harder against Skinner's groin, his movements fractionally small as he was already tight against the other man's hot flesh. 

But it made his point. There was a brief, breathless chuckle from above and then Skinner was gripping him harder still. And fucking his face with the steady, even strokes of a man obsessed. Alex reveled in the stretch and slight release of his mouth, and decided there were worse things than being part of a man's obsession. 

Much worse... He tasted so uniquely like *Skinner*. Simply satisfying, acridly painful across the fevered landscape of Alex's brain, making of his vision a velvet black landscape ripped with lightning, a fury of nature and it was his, all his... 

He felt himself relax and he hadn't even been aware he'd been tensed. The release flooded his muscles with something acidly welcome and he moaned, and Skinner thrust and he had a few more moments of perfection before his jaw was released and his head pulled back and back until all he could lay claim to was a thin pearl of Skinner's pre-come slick on his lip. 

"Get on the bed, on your back. Spread yourself for me." 

Skinner's voice was ripping cloth, low and insinuating and irresistible. When he released Alex's hair, it was merely the confirmation of a command... 

And Alex counted himself a fine machine.


	6. Chapter 6

A perfect tool. Alex rose from his knees like a snake from a basket, eyes locked on Skinner's face. Those eyes were clear now. Crystalline and nearly black -- green-ringed, copper-flecked and all that blackness holding only him. Only Skinner. 

Only Skinner as he backed toward the bed, climbed -- sinuous and slow upon it. Did as he was bid, oh yes, but something different now. 

Not placating his master with obedience, but...Skinner's mind too deeply awash in lust to come up with more than glimpses, images of Alex -- painted, stretched -- a dancer, a...a canvas. Less than an artist; more than clay. And those long, elegant legs folding back upon themselves, spreading wide. 

Taut architecture of his thighs, pulled and drawn. Truncated curls of coarse black hair. Ivory column of his cock, head glistening, thickly glazed with pre-come. 

Skinner's eyes moved down. Alex's balls -- tightly furrowed, close to his body -- and below where the flesh darkened to the pink of dusty roses, the rose of Karkorium plums... 

The puckered rosette buried in between the milk-white globes of his ass. 

His. 

Not taken by him. Not given to him. 

Simply, his. 

There were oils by the bed, exotic oils from Lyra and Orion. Lubricants appropriate for a dozen different human/alien pairings. Some night he would use them with Alex. Not tonight. 

Tonight there would be only them; himself and his own. And if it hurt... 

He followed the boy onto the bed. Knelt up between those arched and waiting thighs. Took his cock in his own hand stroked roughly, spreading the slick pre-come with his callused palm.

Positioned himself at that still virginally tight entrance. Shifted his weight. 

Alex gasped into the nudge, pushed forward, down. Friction allowed only the head to penetrate. 

Walter wrapped a loose, but warning fist around Alex's cock, held him to stillness. 

Hard enough to hold *himself* to stillness, but Starfleet's discipline was good training for any endeavor of the flesh. 

But oh, the heat inside. 

Alex, so cool on the surface, roared volcanic under the skin. His cockhead swelled in its narrow, burning channel. 

Almost too much heat to bear. 

"Tell me about the pain," Skinner said. "This pain. Let...let me see it on you." 

"Yesssss." Alex hissed. 

Skinner withdrew the head of his cock, levered the boy's legs higher. 

"Now," he said, and thrust. 

Alex screamed -- high, wild, unrestrained. And writhed and seemed to unfold beneath him like some fabulously complex insect. And Skinner saw-- he *saw* the pain, race like the flush of blood across the surface of his flesh. 

The sight provoked another thrust. A battering buck of motion that brought him up blunt and short, stuck deep in molten, molten flesh. 

Another scream -- rising torn like comet's tail of silk and sand and cold black water and oh god it *was* music. 

And it was moving him, dancing his hips in an undeniable rhythm. Short punching strokes and Alex was choking on his next scream, liquid sounds and helpless gasping mewls. Those long legs spreading impossibly wide. He could almost hear the tear of tendon, rend of muscle from the bone. 

Felt the dull scrape of friction as he withdrew all the way. 

"More..." he demanded through gasping breaths. "All of it, Alex. All...." And thrust again, full force of his muscular hips and legs. 

Feeling flesh give, part abruptly hot and so so dangerously slick.. and he could feel the moral compass spinning wildly again, the ship swaying beneath him. Glance down to see that yes, god, yes his cock was streaked with crimson and...don't deny it...still moving. Plunging back into Alex as he watched. 

No, not *watched*...he knew...didn't want to know. He *wanted* this. Not taken. Not given. It was his. He owned it all. Pain and blood and Alex Alex Alex -- transformed. Not screaming now but writhing, muscles moving under the skin. 

Mouth open, crimson spatters on his cheek -- brief flutter in Skinner's throat. //Where did that come from...// he couldn't tell, but his eyes were drinking the red of blood and he *wanted* those dark red dribbles on the pale flesh. And he wanted --- stroking stroking now into nothing but slick pleasure. The burn so far away. Oh but if only Alex's blood would burn him burn him again. 

"Come on Alex," he growled. "*Show* me..." and when those eyes came up blacker than before he knew: it was his fault, not the boys. He wasn't hurting him *enough*. And while he was so close Alex was...drifting. Lost. 

And so much rage rising in him at those unspoken demands -- demands of flesh and of humanity and of the simple presence of someone other than himself. 

Building in him like a charge, his teeth ground hard enough to feel something give and *crunch* and he raised his hand. Brought it down in one hard ringing slap to the cock bobbing insistently toward his belly. 

And there was the cry, the boy's body jerking hard beneath him. 

Pre-come jetting tiny fountains and he hit again, wishing his hands hard enough, sharp enough to draw blood from the bruising flesh. All that blood welling just below the skin and Alex had been right...he should have brought the knives. 

And like a brand behind his eyes he *saw* it, saw himself, curved knives in either hand, slathered in the sticky copper sluice of blood and shredded milk- white flesh. And heard the choking gurgle of untimely death and saw the smile that would curve Alex's parted, perfect lips... 

And looked down, his fist merciless on Alex's battered cock and saw that smile already there... 

And came.


	7. Chapter 7

Alex was raw. 

Inside and out, every nerve bruised or throbbing or heated with Skinner's... With *Skinner*. The borya knew *nothing*. His people had forgotten themselves, the Pattern was meaningless. 

This was how he was supposed to enter the darkness, not the random ache of broken limbs, but this utter sensitivity to the universe. A drop of sweat fell from Skinner's chest to his own, he closed his eyes and it was a liquid punch, it would bruise him, too. 

He could hear himself, panting or sobbing... he wasn't sure which and that meant it was probably both but there were no *words*. He shifted beneath the other man, cried out because Skinner was still so *hard* inside him... He'd been fucked with a weapon, hot, so hot.

A pon stick left in the sun, still charged, still sending pulses through every part of him. Such wealth... he prayed to everything he knew to keep Skinner there until Alex could just die... 

Muscles flexed at the corners of his vision and he bore down in reflexive fear, sending flares of pain so pure it was a form of light previously unknown; Alex felt he would simply break apart and spill it all over... 

"You haven't come." 

Growled out, a simple statement. Another would make it an accusation, not Skinner... He felt himself cracking again, thought sure this time it would be fatal. But he didn't know how to respond... 

Thankfully, Skinner didn't ask for anything, simply lowered himself enough to make it possible to brace himself on one elbow. Skinner's furred chest against his own... even if this man *was* human it seemed too banal a designation. 

Alex could feel how sweat had curled, thickened the hair just a little. Alex never wanted this to stop, and tried to say so by arching and rubbing. He wanted Skinner to flatten him, smother him, fuck him again, just like he had before and then the blunt edge of Skinner's palm, callused and horny, came up under his chin and pushed. 

For a moment, Alex wasn't sure whether to surrender to the push or resist until his spine had snapped, but Skinner eased off when Alex stilled, waiting for him. It felt criminal and Alex pressed the round of his skull back against the hot, damp pillow and arched up, offering as much of his throat as he could. 

And then Skinner came down fast, snake-strike fast and bit him. 

Held on and growled. Alex couldn't hold in his cries, couldn't stop the rapid arch and thrust of his hips, couldn't remember why he'd stopped. 

And Skinner just held on, increasing the pressure with slow inevitability, adding to the pain, the wonder, the sheer solid *reality* of it. Alex released his knees and braced his feet and screwed down, feeling Skinner soften but not really caring at this point beyond the glory of his own movements, the release of old tension, the creation of new. 

He was careful to keep his upper body as still as possible, not wanting to disturb Skinner's process, and the other man showed his approval by biting harder. It was starting to get hard to breathe, his cock felt petrified, permanently blunted and full -- 

And then Skinner's teeth broke the skin, and Alex felt himself split under the pressure, felt himself start to spill and it was so perfectly, wonderfully right that he couldn't keep from screaming. -- the sound was so breathless, so hoarse and broken that he lost it, painting their chests and bellies, scalding himself with his own heat. 

Skinner suckled his throat greedily, finally blanketing Alex fully with most of his weight. 

And Alex shakily curled a hand around the smooth scalp and held the man there, right there.


	8. Chapter 8

Somewhere in the middle of the ship's nightcycle, Walter woke. On his bed. Alone. Definitely something wrong, but no clear idea of what. He felt -- gluey. 

Inside and out, and vaguely achy, as though he were coming down with recyck fever or a cold. His mouth tasted like -- he ran his swollen tongue over his teeth experimentally -- shit. 

Something nagged at him. He shifted on the smooth coverlet and his hand slid into a patch of cold dampness. More than dampness. Wet enough to leave his fingers slick. Sticky. Dull horror dawning, he brought the fingers to his face. 

The movement alone brought the bright copper stink to his nose, along with the underlying musks -- sex, fear, ass... 

Enough to bring Skinner to full alert in an instant. He rolled off the bed, into a fighting crouch, teeth bared -- not stopping to question why. 

Nostrils flaring, ears cocked to listen to the ship. *His* ship still and he knew all its noises. Listened a long moment, heard nothing new and felt himself relax. 

Breathed deep and straightened, took a step toward the head. 

"Alex?" he called softly. 

No reply, but the 'lock on the bathroom door was closed. He rubbed the aching stretch of muscle at the back of his neck and took another step, intending to override the door with his palmprint. His foot came down in cold, congealing ick. 

He stopped. Controlled his breathing. He had done a terrible thing, he knew that, but it hadn't seemed this...He stopped the rationalization before it could be allowed to birth. Self-disgust hardened him against the growing fear. 

"Lights..." he grunted. 

He'd said it low, but any spaceman used to traveling alone kept the ship's computer finely tuned enough to catch a dying breath. And the lights came up. 

"Jesu Christos..." The childhood invocation slipped out between his dry lips. Blood...blood... What had bled...? 

Bloody abbreviated footprints led toward the bathroom door; a smeared handprint on the control pad like the attenuated digits of a Norn. Skinner closed the distance to the door in an instant, slapped the override hard enough to sting his palm. The door slid open. Walter froze. 

Alex stood in the center of the tiny head. His back was to Skinner and the door, but his reflection faced them all. 

Skinner had been in space battles and planetside skirmishes. He'd pulled friends and soldiers off battlefields and out of wreckage. He'd seen his share of blood and wounds and the fierce madness that battle can strike in a man. But he'd never seen anything like this. Blood ran in a wide swath down across the young man's chest. Blood painted the insides of his legs and long drips twined down the length of his downy calves to puddle in the arches of his feet.   
It made no sense. Walter had known he'd drawn blood from the boy -- he could still feel the scissoring split of tender skin between his teeth; remembered the terrible slick heat around his cock -- but he had not done *this*. 

And looking at the boy. Cold wash of strangeness as he tried to puzzle it out. Alex hadn't moved; still hadn't acknowledged Skinner's entrance -- gave no sign of even knowing he was there. He seemed transfixed on his own image -- eyes glassy, mouth open and breathing in short, shallow little gasps. 

One hand was slowly tracing its way up his ribs, touching every rising bruise, every raw abrasion with something like the reverence of a priest touching relics. The other hand... Skinner frowned into the slight shadow cast by the boy's own body... the other hand was straight at his side, held a little stiffly. 

The boy's traveling left hand detoured from his ribs then, skimmed the bloody spill across his chest. To his clavicle. To the blackening circle of the massive bite mark on his throat, the ragged oozing tears in the flesh... 

Skinner saw a flicker of too quick movement; looked up and caught the glitter of bright metal in the mirror. Alex's hand had come up so fast... 

The cuts were exactly where his teeth had cut. But flowing now, fresh spurt of crimson so much brighter than the old... 

And the hand coming back around behind --and Skinner saw the blade, the curved blade flipped and angled to slip between the milk-white cheeks. 

The sight unfroze him, shot through him like electric charge and Skinner moved so fast he was on the boy before the thought had time to form. 

He grabbed the boy's knife hand, ground a precise thumb into the nerve bundle at the base of his wrist. The knife clattered to the floor. His other hand went around Alex's waist and he lifted him, bodily off the floor and without preamble carried him out of the head. 

Whatever combination of self-hypnosis and bloodloss had entranced the boy lasted just until Skinner dragged him out the bedroom door and into the companionway. 

Then, like a switch had been flipped and thrown them back in time, Skinner found himself with an armful of snarling, screaming animal rage. 

Hard pressed not to hurt the boy further in his efforts to subdue him, he tried to calm him with words, with the sound of his voice, the weight of his authority. 

For a moment it even seemed to work, and Alex, whether through conscious effort or simple exhaustion and weakness, simply sagged in his arms -- but when they reached the infirmary, he renewed his struggles with such crazed energy that Walter was forced to slam his head repeatedly against a wall strut to keep him from breaking free. 

He regretted more than he could say the thought of having inflicting further damage on that mutilated flesh, and it was with tender care that he lay the stunned and blinking boy in the cylindrical, steel coffin of the med-unit and belted him in. Alex came round before he was finished and started screaming again, flailing against the restraints and then, when Skinner held his head still and pressed his lips to the boy's forehead -- begging...*begging* for Walter to stop...please, please, please, please stop... 

"Stop what?" Walter asked. 

His hand was poised on the control pad, but as he watched Alex made a visible effort to compose himself and it stalled him. 

"You..." Alex said, his voice rough and raw as torn silk and his words came out in choppy, panicked bursts. "Destroy... you cannot... it is... I am... you have made it *godmade*... first Pattern... you can't... Skinner, it is *perfect*..." 

The words made little enough sense, but the boy's eyes on him were so intense, so desperate, he knew without a doubt that this was more than mere animal tantrum. It was hooked into that strangeness. That thing that made Alex more or less than truly human. That made him who he was. For Walter Skinner, something...*perfect*. He took his hand off the control panel, raised both palms as if in temporary surrender. 

"About the pain..." he said, knowing he had only the vaguest stirrings of what this might be about, and still never a man to distrust a gut instinct so strong as this:. "Tell me about it, Alex. This time so I can understand."


	9. Chapter 9

And there was that word again. 

Another act of cruelty, though Skinner's face did not mock. And he smelled more of Alex than himself... he rolled up against the restraints and got nowhere. He was too weak, too close to changing... 

Alex felt the air leaving his body, and with it went some of the harsh white light of this... this *repair* center. Purity was not to be thanked. But Skinner was waiting for him. He tried to put it into words. 

"You gave me so much." 

When Skinner frowned, it was a total thing, a reshaping of his face into something more stone, more beautiful. But it was always a sign of disapproval... Alex felt himself craving that look, that inky flood of anger, leashed violence. 

But that wasn't where the other man had called his work on Alex from, it was just Alex's own weakness. If he was brought back to himself, he would only be tempted to see what true rage would get him, and that wasn't the way -- 

"It was mine to give; it is mine to take." Skinner's low growl pulling him back to himself, and the flare of re-entering his body sent blood to his aching cock and just made him hurt more and he felt his body rise in a wave and there was more blood flowing and then a warm, rough hand on his chest. 

Centering him. Alex tried to focus, found the rage on Skinner's face had tightened into something like fear. Wrong wrong wrong -- 

"If you don't stop I'll sedate you. Talk." 

"Want to be perfect. So little time to be perfect please let me have the knife you showed me how now I can finish and be done --" 

The hand pressed him down harder. Alex felt his skin split again beneath it, moaned his appreciation. 

"That's. Not. Your. Choice." 

Alex tried to free himself again, but he knew he did not move. "How could you undo what you've done? Why do you punish me?" 

A brief pause, and then Skinner came down, a mountain of blood-tacked muscle and aggression. Stole his mouth and plundered it. He tasted like death and Alex moaned again, sucked at his tongue. 

And then there was a sound like the rush of a Five into your den when the seal is released too soon, and a spreading chill beneath his skin. His eyelids dropped of their own accord, and Alex knew he'd been tricked. 

"Why?" 

"So I can do it again." 

And that was all he knew.


	10. Chapter 10

Night, like most things on Kronos, came gently. A deep blue -- too gentle for indigo -- blanket tugged over the sky. Less a command for all to rest than a suggestion. 

It made Jeffrey feel naked. 

There were no *true* moons here, just an endless series of asteroids with irregular orbits. Well before the colonists had arrived, said orbits had been corrected for safety, yet left in semi-random patterns for their pleasing effect. Tonight there were four in Jeffrey's sky, glowing in the backwash of Kronos' young, healthy sun. 

Jeffrey looked at his hand and thought it must glow, too. Everything was clear in his vision, in his senses in general. While he was not unfamiliar with the concept of adrenaline, Jeffrey's life before now had been calm, empty of such things. This was very, very new, and he was convinced that, because the shape of a lone and obviously lost breed tawa was so easily discernible to *his* eye... Well, he must surely be exposed to every eye tonight. 

And it was not yet high Spring, not yet the proper season for young people to be out of their homes this late. 

Certainly not among the surprisingly poor streets of the Merchant's Quarter. Not dirty, just vaguely... discouraging. 

If he were a merchant, he would not be eager to come here. Not when it was so clear that Kronos *could* provide better. Jeffrey ran a hand down his tunic, and his palm identified the fabric as none other than lirat, soft and natural and native. Hardly anyone wore anything else.

Two weeks ago, no more, the thought would've filled Jeffrey with pride at his homeworld's self-sufficiency. But he'd never been to the Merchant's Quarter then, and he'd never seen the secrets... 

//"Kill me... why won't you just kill me?"// 

The words had been running through his brain since the last time he'd gone to the Barns. The fourth time altogether, the first without his watchful, watchful father. 

He had been led around the facilities, shown the progress, the growth... a dozen different new species, each less recognizably humanoid than the last, easier to breed. His father told him of the successful attempts to seed mostly uncharted worlds with the creatures, all something less than precisely sentient yet trainable. Perfect slaves for new colonies on the crumbling edges of Federation morality. 

And the prospective Governors paid well, and the latinum rolled in and it was so easy these days to smudge a genetic fingerprint to unrecognizability and someday it would all be his... 

Jeffrey paused at the edge of the alley he'd chosen to rest in, unable to quite bring himself out into the spots of the asteroids again. He rested his head against the cool wall, and tried to breathe. 

He had not been shown Barn 14, and so that was where he'd gone. Anything he wasn't shown would clearly be where the incontrovertible proof was hidden, something he could take holos of, steal evidence from to back up that letter he'd sent, *something*. 

And he was right, because Barn 14 held all the best Extras. The one's whose stock was the most easily manipulable. The ones whose faces had been shown in a million cheerful holos, but whose bodies had never been seen anywhere within the ranks of the Governor's Elite. 

Generations of them. Revived and frozen and revived again, nearly heedless of damage, certainly of human need. The newest ones were childlike, having never been taught otherwise, simply raised rapidly from infancy to artificial young adulthood. 

But there at the end was Quirabi, and *her* cheerful holo had been one of the first, according to the histories. By Kronian time, she was well over three hundred years old, at least. Her arms and legs, a third of her face were of that strangely glassine and withered quality common to early cryo treatment, but the rest of her body was youthful. 

She was naked and restrained, a new wound had been bandaged on her side. When she spoke, she did not focus on his face. Her voice was the slurred pipe of a drugged child. 

And she had begged to be killed. Again, and again, and again and Jeffrey had stood there until a hand fell on his shoulder and even then he'd been too shocked to move. He'd been turned to face his father, who watched him with an odd sort of knowing happiness. 

And introduced to the legendary Admiral Surok, whose career Jeffrey knew by heart, who'd once written to say Jeffrey might someday have a place on his staff, whose staff would receive his simple but eyes-only letter for the general about the Problem On Kronos within hours. 

Jeffrey had managed not to vomit, and nodded in the appropriate places, and when he'd been dismissed he packed up a small number of his belongings and ready cash and got out. There was no way his father wouldn't know about the message by tomorrow morning, and then... 

And then he didn't want to think. 

So he was here, in the Merchant Quarter, and his only hope would be to buy his way onto a private vessel. Something good and alien to Kronos. A captain who would listen to his story with sympathy and get him so far away from home he wouldn't even be able to dream of it anymore. 

The hope was a small one, but it was there, and he cleaved to it.


	11. Chapter 11

Skinner took one last look at the control readouts on the med-unit -- mostly green now, he was relieved to see, but he'd also set the autofunction to slide Alex into a nice, deep sleep for the next few days. He wasn't entirely thrilled at the idea of leaving the boy alone in the ship, but the alternative -- having to deal with the delicate business of infiltrating a Starfleet medical facility while keeping his wild creature in check -- seemed worse. 

The ship's defenses would protect Alex from looters and curious port officials who might decide to pull an unrecorded inspection of the vessel while the captain was not at home and -- as long as nothing kept Skinner from returning before his induced sleep was done -- might keep Alex safe from this new, bloody madness of his as well. Skinner did not dwell on the possibilities of either mechanical failure or his own. 

Satisfied with his final adjustments, Skinner left the ship, turned his documentation over to the 'port authority and headed out into the spaceport town. 

In Kronostes he found a place both like and unlike most cities that had sprung up around 'ports. Every city had its places -- its wealthy quarters and industrial sectors; its tourist traps and its whoring places. All different; all the same. The form might change, the names, the value in which a sentient life was held, the races of the whores ...but the nature of these places seemed universal to Skinner. There was a sameness to all 'port cities. Or perhaps that was the influence of the Federation itself. 

Another reason to curse them. 

But every port city had one place whose form and whose nature was always exactly the same. A place where the flotsam and jetsam of the city lapped up against the adamantine and forcefield fences of the landing fields in little boxtowns and shantytowns. Here were the shadows in which the thieves and killers hid -- rough bars that stank of piss and blood and the bitter esters of too many aliens too close together. Places where even a man like Walter Skinner walked with his hand resting on between his phaser and his knife and ready to draw either at a moment's notice. He began his search here. 

What he was looking for, was an *in*. 

It was never the same from planet to planet. Sometimes it was a person, sometimes the location of a place or a tidbit of knowledge bought at a price that was always too high, and that he always paid. Whatever the *in* turned out to be, it was the single most vital key to Walter Skinner's success and, particularly, his survival: the power to get in and out quickly and make his one shot count. 

For three days and three nights he prowled the city in search of his in. His hunting skills honed by practice and necessity brought him time and again to places that should have yielded his prize. But Kronos was different from most colony worlds. Here there seemed to be no dissatisfied underclass, no resentful aboriginals eager to help poke holes in the Federation shields. Not even criminals happy to make trouble for the simple opportunity it brought. Kronos from top to bottom seemed fat and complacent in every way and the inhabitants of the dockside bars were not so much the criminal underbelly of the city as simply its lazier, stupider burghers. 

Day four bloomed hot and green and devoid of even the most plausible of leads. Walter Skinner had learned all he ever wanted to know about the richness of Kronos's soil and the peacefulness of its history and the wisdom of the ever- smiling Governer Markham. He had also learned the general whereabouts of the fine new Starfleet medical facility and had gleaned, from his own experience and the chatterings of Kronostes happy citizens, that it was indeed his target. 

What Walter Skinner did not know, was how he was going to destroy it. And he was running out of time. His last lead had sent him on a long and pointless tramp to a clean and wealthy looking enclave where there was no one of any use at all. He had spent all afternoon following one dead end after another and by the time he decided that there really was no hope, the sun had set and the gentle blue of Kronos night had descended -- a velvet drape of sky into which asteroids had been set like four semi-precious stones on display in a jeweler's window.

The slowly-cooling evening found Walter Skinner tramping irritably back through town via the Merchant's quarter. His irritation was compounded by his growing concern that Alex would wake before he returned to the ship and by the fact that the worry was only a small distraction for the real ache in his heart -- that their simple mission had now become a suicide run and that he was going to lose the strange and razor-studded puzzle box that was his 

//His!// 

Alex, just as he'd begun to understand the nature of its first unlocking twist. 

And so distracted was he by the new, knife-cut anguish of this loss, that he nearly walked by the alley in which a young man -- tall and pretty-mouthed and dangerously over-dressed for the neighborhood -- was about to lose his virtue and most probably, his life.


	12. Chapter 12

Jeffrey was seeing stars. The realm of his vision was collapsing and collapsing and then, with each jerked movement, exploding in a bright flare of something too momentarily stunning to be called pain. 

And then the process would begin again. 

There was a voice at his ear and something bluntly professional at his aching temple, and something else not quite so professional pressed at the small of his back. 

Something within him coolly reported that the reddish splotch on the wall was where his head had impacted, that the bluntness at his temple was a phaser, that the arm around his neck was, quite redundantly, choking the life out of him, and that the roughness of the voice and the hardness of the cock implied imminent rape. 

The rest of him was steadily trying to beat that something to death because this was just too much to cope with right now and hadn't he had enough anyway? 

His vision cleared from the blow for just long enough for him to notice that his body had gone on struggling in complete ignorance of his brain. He was abruptly very proud of his body. Then his attacker lifted him clear off the ground with just the arm around his throat and Jeffery wondered why he'd ever thought the night was too bright. 

Jeffrey felt numbed and sleepy and then he felt the ground punch him in the face and then there really wasn't much of anything at all.


	13. Chapter 13

Red sands obscured the sky, swirled around Alex's body in delicate whirls that blew apart and re-formed countless times around his body. Red sands moved against the soles of his feet just before he set them down in step after step. 

It was said that many of the First Ones had quietly turned to the worship of it after they had been left, that they believed the sands alive in a way utterly incomprehensible, yet timeless. 

Alex walked through the gentle stings of the Two, naked save for the tightly sealed eye mask and the cloth wrapped low and efficient over his genitals, and believed. 

He knew he was dreaming, though. He could *see* his world, which meant the eye mask actually had some form of hole to see through, and that was.... Well, when someone was said to have "gone to see the sands" or was called a "sandgazer" then everyone knew to seal their dens against the person, because it just wasn't safe to remain close to the mad. 

To see was to open your eyes to the shape of the land, vast and scarred and the same red as your own dried blood. The storms were near-constant on Pax, the sands always in motion. When they *did* calm you could finally see it all, miles and miles of empty. Few people left their dens during the Zeros. It hurt the mind. 

More practically, seeing the sands was to allow each grain to sink into the tenderest flesh and burn and burrow and burn your brain until you went even madder. 

Though Alex had been born here, his body had always known this was no fit place. Had railed and thrown itself against the walls of wind and dust-blood until it was strong and lean, which was good. But it also never stopped telling him to leave, find something softer and cooler and wetter and it was so *weak*. 

Alex had never understood why his body couldn't just learn to accept what was, though perhaps there was less shame now that Pax was only a dream. 

And Alex walked. Saw the sands with something a lot like guilty pleasure, reveling in the taboo of derangement until the weight of the drug pushed him back down and down into simple black.


	14. Chapter 14

It was the familiar shuffle and gasp of night violence that brought Skinner out of his head. 

That sound that was two bodies in collision -- fucking hard or fighting -- and he turned, a half step past the alley. already knowing what it was he'd heard and seen. Whir of the damned moral compass in his chest. On another world he might have walked away. Violence was a fact of life and Skinner had no need to save a boy too rich and stupid to protect his own worthless life. And time wasn't his to waste on strangers -- Alex would be waking soon. 

And who was he to tear some lion from his kill? But the man on top in this alley was no lion. 

Just another rank and dirty urgol rutting on something already too lame to run. And four days simmering frustration, four days worth of prodding the city's flabby underbelly to no end but his own sacrifice congealed suddenly, catalyzed to rage. 

Three long steps and he had the *urgol* by the throat. Yanked him backwards, twist of his arms and the man's vertebrae snicked to the edge of breaking. Skinner gave him just long enough to register the attack, stiffen in abject terror, send up a musk of wild fear that sent a rush of blood to Skinner's prick -- and snapped the man's neck. 

The body shuddered against him, relaxed. Collapsed in upon itself. Stink of foulness rising and he tossed the suddenly heavy corpse aside. Looked down. The boy sprawled on his belly on the ground before him. Half naked, fine tunic a ruin. Hands scrabbling in the dirt and his legs spread wide where the dog had left him. 

The sight sent another deathrush through him, filled his cock like the flex of a fist. That animal desire. This kill was *his* now -- and he *was* a lion. 

The boy moaned, flexed his back, tried to rise. Walter's foot twitched wanting to kick those knees apart again. The rich boy's ass looked soft and pink as a D'abo girl's, dark heaviness in the shadow of his thighs promised more. 

But that was the 'man' thinking again. Thinking with his cock, his gut. He needed cold steel between his legs, not silky flesh. And a rich boy out alone at night in *this* place sent out alarm bells that he should have heard long before now. 

So he steeled himself, took the boy's arm instead, gave him his other arm to lever on. Got him sitting against a wall. 

"Okay?" he asked. 

Not a real question. The boy -- were they *all* so young? -- was clearly stunned. His face was wet with blood and dirt and his gaze skittered wildly across the planes of Skinner's face.   
Annoyance reigned. Did these Kronos people have no wits about them at all? The boy was likely hopeless -- an idiot escaped from the family pen. The sane thing to do would be to leave now, get back to the ship. Prepare for the final run. But something held him back. Skinner frowned, racked his brain, trying to sort through the accumulated trivia of the last four days. 

Something about the clothes. The tunic, torn and dirty, green-gold badge of the family crest pulled askew... And the key slid home. If Skinner was a smiling man, he would have smiled.

He knew that crest: those crossed staves, green fields of 'baccy and gold trefoil. House Spender. The name had come up time and again -- right hands to the Governor, a direct channel to Starfleet. Wealthy beyond your dreams. Impossible to reach. And here, as though sent by the hand of whatever passed for a god in this place, was one of their very own.   
Skinner looked closer at the boy's face, felt encouraged when that vague gaze sharpened, found him. He watched the boy take in the scene: the lump of dead man in the shadows, his own disarray. He raised slim fingers gingerly to his forehead, stared at the blackness of blood on his fingertips. As if he'd never seen his own blood before. 

"Did you...?" he asked. His voice was a little deeper than Walter expected, his pretty features tangled up in a frown. 

"Un-hunh," Skinner grunted and then to make sure there was no mistake. "I saved your life." 

"I-- Thank you," said the boy. He sounded puzzled. Skinner's impatience made him grind his teeth, set his jaw against hauling the boy to his feet, dragging him along. Instead he held his voice to softness. 

"Can you walk?" Skinner asked. 

"I think..." The boy frowned, shifted to get his feet under him. "I think so. Yes." 

"Good," said Skinner. "I'll take you somewhere you can get cleaned up." Squint of suspicion as the boy pushed himself up using the wall as leverage. 

"I...thank you. No," he said, his voice was shaky. Words a little thick. 

And Walter's patience reached the limit of its chain, yanked hard. He wrapped one hand firmly around the boy's slender bicep. 

"It wasn't an invitation, boy." 

The rich boy cringed back against the wall. "No..." breathed shaky but something like will behind the words. Walter rolled his eyes, shook his head. "I said get clean, boy. Not get fucked. Get clean and get yourself fixed up. I'll do that much for you. And you can tell me your story if it's short. And then," and he fixed the boy with his long-practiced captain's glare. "Then we can talk about how you're going to pay me back."


	15. Chapter 15

Was this what it meant to leave home? Was this night just his due for deserting his birthright? Jeffrey felt briefly wistful for those otherwise useless electives about religion. The vast, alien thing had had no place in his life, but there was probably something useful there for *this* moment, because this wasn't his life anymore. 

Not by any stretch of the imagination was he following the massive brutal stranger passively, without even a fist around his arm to compel him. The moisture on his face was rainwater, not blood. The man *would* just get him medical attention and help him -- no matter what the man's eyes said -- 

And that was just a little too close to admitting this was all perfectly real, another today of his life and if he admitted that he'd also have to admit there was nothing here he could understand and really, if he went back to that alley he could crawl back into his body and go back to sleep. 

His damaged body... 

A part of Jeffrey's mind was cursing a blue streak, words he'd never had any real reason to know, much less use. He knew it was just to keep from screaming and that was a real thought, too, and he couldn't really focus on the sky, or the night people in the Quarter, or on anything but the vaguest shape of his not-at-all altruistic savior... 

Too real, much too real and he knew if he stopped walking and curled up the man would just pick him up and haul him for the... the *repairs* he obviously thought were necessary before he could lower himself to rape him and oh *fuck*, but Jeffrey had only been trying to avoid --

Wrong -- 

And there was the fist on his arm. 

"Are you going into shock?" 

The words were in the same toneless rumble the man had been using all night, and the eyes might have been blackly unreadable on any other night, but... 

Jeffrey's own eyes were dark, and he knew contempt when he saw it. He pulled himself up a little, deliberately slowed down. Watched the irritation ripple across the other man's features and resisted the urge to ask when the man had last had to hold *his* pants up by the torn, ruined waistband. 

He would probably tell him. 

A small, bright giggle worked its way up despite his best efforts to keep it down, and the other man raised his eyebrow, seemed to be gearing up to explain to Jeffrey one last time How It Was Going To Be. 

Oh, he knew this man. He did. And Jeffrey knew he didn't have to be real at all. None of this did. Not even himself. If he listened very, very closely the wind sounded a lot like the soft, gentle chuff of the doors to his home holochamber. 

"No. What's your name?" 

That earned him a measuring look, but he knew the part he was supposed to play here. No backing down. 

"Skinner." 

Skinner. He turned the name over in his mind, but found no meaning but obvious gore... Obvious didn't quite seem the man's style. "I can pay you --" 

"I'm not interested." 

And that, too, made perfect sense within this new... life he was trapped in. He caught himself nodding absently. "You know me." 

Another look, a smile crooked less out of humor than unfamiliarity. "No, I don't. You're going to tell me, though." 

Jeffrey flat out laughed then, and gestured to Skinner to lead the way. 

Perfectly absurd. 

It would do.


	16. Chapter 16

There was a hiss and a click and a great wedge of searing white light and Alex Krycek knew he was awake. He felt... fine. Ordinary. His senses had returned to their blunt, dull selves -- capable of sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell and nothing more. No, not returned -- had *been* returned. Skinner had done that, had pulled him back from the edge of change and made him nothing more than flesh again. 

Or maybe *something* more. Something about his dreams... Strange, telling dreams. He could feel them like a cupped palmful of water in his mind, a slippery weight just beyond the walls of memory. No chasing would bring them any closer and so he closed his fingers around the weight, put them with the hard-shelled eggs that were his rage. 

He ran mental fingers over those treasured eggs. So many. Someday perhaps, he would be allowed to smash them all, let all the roaring beasts fly. 

He lingered on the pleasant thought, then pulled himself back to the dull casing Skinner had chosen to give him for a body. He pulled himself upright. No pain. Not even the smallest twinge. Curious, his hand went to his throat. Not even there, although his fingers found the short, sharp ridges of the tiny angled scars. 

So, there were marks at least. And memories. 

And Skinner's promise. 

Perhaps all had not been undone. And feeling cheered by this, he climbed out of the great undoing box and stretched his muscles one by one and then set out to find the cause of the staleness of Walter Skinner's scent upon the air.


	17. Chapter 17

Skinner glanced sidewise at Jeffrey Spender limping along beside him down the catwalk to the Rose of Sharon and couldn't help but shake his head. Here was this creature -- draggled and damaged and clearly on thin ice over water much deeper than he'd ever expected to cross -- and the sound of his honest, open laugh still rang in Skinner's head. 

How many years...? Surely he'd heard people laugh since he'd left Starfleet? What difference did it make? None, he told himself firmly. He was a weapon. Jeffrey Spender was his sight. His *in*. Already the boy had told him almost everything he needed to know. One simple question -- what were you doing in that alley tonight? -- and after one brief hesitation; one probe of his face with those dark and hungry eyes -- the words had poured. 

How he'd had to leave -- his home, his father -- terrible things he couldn't reveal. Well, Skinner already had an idea of what those were. He'd been in growing barns before. And it was clear that Jeffery Spender had the kind of clearance Skinner always dreamed of finding. 

He knew too, that it would take little encouragement to persuade Jeffrey to help him. That sonic shower, a new pair of pants. A gruffly sympathetic hand on his shoulder.   
He could almost imagine the shine of grateful tears in Jeffrey's eyes when Skinner told him he could right the wrong. And then...what? 

Sense told him it wasn't his problem. *His* path was always clear. Get in, get the job done, get out. There were no innocents and all was fair. And he'd only known the boy for less than a 10th of a rev and knew him already for a lamb and a naïf and fifteen kinds of fool. Who could laugh at the ridiculousness of his own personal disaster, with warmth and gentleness and to his captor's face. 

They turned the corner of the catwalk and Rose of Sharon hove into view. Skinner heard a soft exhalation beside him and glanced over to see Spender's eyes gone big and dark. His face unnaturally pale in the harsh landing field lights. 

"She's a good enough ship," Skinner said, bluntly. But it was always a source of pride to see Sharon pierce another man's heart. "Sonic shower and med-unit--" He broke off. 

He broke off, gut clenched with sudden alarm. He checked his chron. 

Damn. How had he lost track of so much time. Right on the edge now. The sleep cycle would have ended, yes, but not so long ago that Alex couldn't still have drifted on in normal sleep. But not so recently that he couldn't have gotten up to whatever the hell that was that he'd been after. Perfection. Godliness. 

The peace of death. 

Skinner set his jaw. 

"Stay here," he ordered perfunctorily, not even bothering to see if Jeffrey would obey. 

He considered his options, decided expediency was the better part of valor here and drew his phaser. Set the thing on stun. It might not stop Alex if he had gone back into some strange fugue, but it would likely slow him down enough to restrain him painlessly if the need arose. 

"Does your watchwraith not have a safeword?" The voice at his shoulder was unexpected, but Skinner didn't flinch. 

"No," he said gruffly, biting down on the smile that threatened to bloom. "And I haven't fed him in days, so unless you want to be fresh meat..." Skinner sensed rather than heard the boy's withdrawal, noting with pleased surprise: he moves well. And then banishing Jeffrey from his mind, he hit the lock and opened the doors of home.


	18. Chapter 18

Empty, empty, empty. This ship, Skinner's den was empty of everything him. For days now. He'd been left here to sleep while Skinner left this place like a den with crumbling seals. 

And yet the ship reported nothing was wrong, save that he was alone here. 

Alex caught himself before the knife in his hand could do more than puncture the corner of the man's mattress, watched the foam boil up and harden around the blade. He was almost too late to remove it, and he did not wish to lose it just yet. 

It was the same knife Skinner had taken from him, after all, and had been neatly replaced on the wall, with all the other knives. 

Surely Skinner would not leave such wealth behind? 

He pressed his face to the mattress and it was just what he already knew. Old and stale. 

It was wrong on more levels than he really wanted to pick through, so he settled on the idea that dens like *Skinner's* were designed for more... care than his own. More connection. Leaving a place so rich and functional was madness, Skinner was not mad, therefore Skinner would be back. 

And so he was not surprised to hear the false wind of the airlock opening, and he did not stop working the blade on the old leather strop Skinner kept in his wall panel. 

He did, however, catalogue each and every step the man made, noted the cautious, but healthy rhythm. Heard him pause... that would be the *repair* center. Alex accidentally cut a small, translucent sliver from the strop. 

He frowned at it for a heartbeat, then ate it. What Skinner didn't know wouldn't put Alex down like an *infant* for a rest -- 

Skinner was moving again, toward his own room. Alex leaned forward, the door opened, and *there*. 

Skinner, fresh and stronger than he remembered, or maybe he just hadn't scented anything in too long. He smelled hard and ready, acid. Alex was up and moving before he really knew what he was doing, knife glanced against plastic and he noticed the phaser in the other man's hand. 

He looked directly into Skinner's eyes, found them searching him. And then the other man was gripping his head and kissing him hard. He even tasted stronger -- Alex couldn't have refused the kiss even if he'd wanted to, it pulled at everything he thought of as himself and demanded. 

He smelled... he smelled like someone else's death. 

Alex was hard as stone, heating under the skin. So much blood, all of it eager to spill out into Skinner's touch. "Who was it? Tell me how it was I want --" 

"Alex, we --" 

And he saw a dark head moving up slowly behind Skinner and let the knife fly but Skinner kicked the stranger's legs out from under him before the blade could sink into his eye. 

Alex had been with Skinner long enough to understand this probably meant there would be no kill for *him*. 

He tried not to scowl.


	19. Chapter 19

Thankfully, Jeffrey landed on his good temple. Not that it felt particularly good anymore, but Skinner's "watchwraith" was apparently flesh and blood and not especially tolerant of intruders. 

He didn't want to be unconscious around it. 

He probably should have stayed in the hangar. 

"I told you to stay outside." 

Skinner's wraith eyed him in a way that suggested he wanted very badly to push Jeffrey back outside. Preferably through a very small hole. 

Jeff giggled out an apology and let Skinner haul him to his feet. 

"You're going to the med-unit now." 

The wraith practically smirked, but Jeff didn't really feel like puzzling that out. Skinner turned and said, 

"You're staying here." 

The wraith moved, a nearly imperceptible fade backwards into what seemed to be Skinner's quarters. It was definitely a good sign that Skinner had the thing leashed. 

And that he already had a lover, too. 

Although the long walk back to the man's ship had taken some of the numb horror out of the idea of being saved from one rapist by another, more patient rapist. 

It wasn't that Skinner had convinced him that Jeffrey was only here to get cleaned up, and it wasn't the man's sparkling conversation either. He'd limited himself to brief bursts of speech, the epitome of taciturn and grim, but there was also a touch of dry humor in there. 

And he seemed to respond well to Jeffrey's own humor... 

Briefly, he could hear a soft yet piercing scream in something that sounded a lot like his own voice and it made him falter a step. Skinner responded by taking him by the bicep again and there was so much simple *there* there. 

He was going to the infirmary and that was final. Every *other* part of him liked the way Skinner was directing the plot here, so the screamer could just go... fuck itself. 

He chuckled at himself. 

"What's funny?" 

Skinner was eyeing him curiously, though with a vaguely surprising lack of concern. Even Jeffrey knew he was probably somewhere near hysteria. 

Or maybe he wasn't? 

"Nothing, nothing. Just... having a good time." Hey, it would be an even better life if it was true -- 

And that was a definite bark of laughter. 

"Good, Jeffrey. Good."


	20. Chapter 20

For all young Jeffrey Spender's bravado, Skinner recognized the symptoms of battle fatigue setting in. 

Not that it had been much of a battle, but the boy was no Starfleet veteran and he had taken more than a few hits to the head. A bluish egg-shaped lump was rising under the raw scrape on his forehead. The blood from the cut had dried in scabby lumps, begun to flake off. And he was swaying on his feet. 

He didn't look quite up to the task of sonic showering, and time was short anyway. He dragged Jeffrey to the infirmary, pushed him onto the room's sole chair. 

He tugged at the ripped collar of Jeffrey's stained tunic. 

"Off..." he said, and again without looking to see if his order was followed, turned and jammed his hands into the buzzing purple light of the sterilizer. 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see the young man fingering the tab of material he'd pulled at, eyeing him warily. Or maybe there was more than just wariness in that glance. Skinner knew the feel of a young man's eyes on him. Always had. He pulled his pink and tingling hands from the light and snatched up the small medical tricorder. 

Jeffrey was just pulling the tunic over his head when Skinner nudged an empty storage container over to the chair and sat on it, placing himself between the boy's knees. 

With his shirt off Jeffrey seemed to shrink a little into himself, shoulders slightly hunched, head down. His obvious discomfort made Skinner even more aware of the softness of his milk-pale skin. The dark curls, neatly squared across his narrow pecs, slender arrow of hair down his long torso to his navel. The recyc fan had clicked over and a thin, cool draft raised lines of gooseflesh on the boy's bare shoulders, made his nipples peak into tiny, clenched buds. 

A pretty sight indeed. And daubed like a chargas-wood carving with black- purple fingerprints at throat and jaw; scarlet quiltwork of abraded flesh, oozing tiny crimson drops...   
Pretty, and if he'd paid 200 strips of gold-pressed and got this for his whore, he would have taken the time to linger over every inch. But Jeffrey had been neither bought nor paid his own way yet and Skinner flexed his jaw, set to applying the regenerator to the worst of the hurts. 

The regenerator buzzed and tinkled as it knit together cells. Skinner worked almost automatically, moving Jeffrey this way and that to get to the injured parts of him, but his mind was already racing ahead to the plan that had been vaguely gelling all the way back from town. 

"Is something wrong?" Jeffrey asked. Skinner looked up, realized he was scowling trying to put pieces together. He'd forgotten how intimidating his blunt face could be. 

Letting his captain's tools get rusty -- sign of an undisciplined mind. He made the scowl deeper, pinned Jeffrey with his eyes. 

"I'm thinking how you're going to pay for this," he said. No real threat in his voice, but he could feel Jeffrey's muscles tense, heard him swallow. 

"I thought--" 

"Shut up," Skinner said. His mind still slogging along, lining up targets, shooting them down. Almost there. "How mad's your father going to be?" 

"What?" 

"Can you go back?" Skinner asked. 

"Back? I don't want to go back..." Jeffrey's eyes were wide, betrayed, like a pet lamb seeing his leash being handed to a priest. Skinner shook his head, pushed down hard on the boy's shoulder to get at the nasty scratch across the back of his neck. 

A little resistance, but hardly more than reflex, Skinner let the reality of his strength hit home.

"It's not what you want here, Spender," Skinner said. "It's what I need. Which is a man inside." 

"Inside what?" Jeffrey nearly whining now. Honest fear; real incomprehension and he squirmed under Skinner's hand "What...the hell is this about?" 

Skinner dug his fingers in a little, shook the boy -- not hard. A warning. 

"Stop talking, boy," he said. "And listen." 

For a minute Skinner thought he was about to be disobeyed and he had only himself to blame for the twitch the possibility gave to his cock. But Jeffrey only sagged beneath his hand, his face folding into a frown, gaze cast down. 

And listened. Skinner suspected the boy already knew, or suspected much of what he told him of the Federation and -- he nearly spat the words: Starfleet Medical. At least he hadn't jumped up to argue the point -- clearly he'd been horrified by what little his father had shown him. And it seemed clear too that he understood Skinner's intent. Understood what Skinner wanted and why it was the only way that justice could be done. At least he'd been nodding, if somewhat vaguely all along. 

And Skinner hadn't been coy about the debt the boy owed for his life and that he intended to collect payment one way or, without qualm, another. 

It was clear he understood. Maybe even agreed. The boy had close to said as much. So what Skinner didn't understand was why, when he had finished, Spender had simply shook his head and said: 

"I can't." 

"It's not a request." 

"No, Mr. Skinner -- I...I want to. I wish I could... I know you're right. There is no justice for these men. No courts..." 

"But you're afraid," Skinner said. 

"No," Jeffrey said, and shook his head and gave that honest laugh again. "I mean, yes. I'm...I'm terrified. Obviously. I'm not that much of a fool." 

"Explain yourself." 

To Skinner's surprise Jeffrey flushed at that -- the high pink color rising in his face and down his throat where it recolored the already fading bruises. 

"I did the worst thing I could have possibly done, I think," he said. And he looked up at that moment to meet Skinner's gaze with his own -- open and honest and black with something like despair. The sight stirred Skinner -- a little steel beneath the milk-fed flesh -- and for the first time he really felt for the boy. Saw him as someone...real. 

"What did you do, Jeffrey," he asked, and took the captain's goad out of his voice. And Jeffrey sighed. 

"I told someone the truth."


	21. Chapter 21

Jeffrey watched a rush of something that looked a lot like murderous rage wash over Skinner's eyes before getting crushed and knew the other man had gotten the point. He wondered if the wash of depression he felt was normal, caught himself before he could start thinking about what normal might mean. Swallowed. "I ruined whatever chance I had of getting you... inside when I sent that letter to Admiral Surok." 

Skinner nodded, leaned back a little, apparently to think. Jeffrey hadn't noticed him getting closer during his speech about atrocities and duty. But then, he hadn't noticed himself getting so thoroughly pulled in, either. He leaned back a little himself, and discovered that he had rather further to go than he'd expected. 

He examined himself as much as he dared. Found the screaming thing still there, quickly turned away. Found the cold thing calmly explaining that Skinner was most probably his best hope. Found he wanted, perhaps needed, for the other man to come up with a reasonable solution. Something that could make his stupid, childish mistake... meaningless. 

Found himself a lot warmer than he'd been just a few minutes before. 

And found Skinner eyeing him speculatively -- again. 

"What? Can you... can I..." He trailed off, and felt himself flush harder. He wondered why this man wasn't Starfleet's star recruiter. *Someone's* star recruiter. What was happening? 

"You don't have any choices." 

The words were cold, but Skinner's tone was... pleased. He bit back the urge to explain the obvious. "Yes?" 

"Your father knows you have no options." 

On any other man, that tone of voice could only be used with a blinding beam of a smile. Skinner's eyes gleamed in a slightly less predatory fashion than Jeffrey had gotten accustomed to in the past hour. It was something. 

Jeffrey felt the hope build up again, he could do something, get free... "And...?" 

"He'll be expecting you." 

"Oh." And that was all he could come up with for an instant. The screaming thing said something along the lines of 'but he'll kill you,' but the screaming thing hadn't said anything useful for hours and wasn't he supposed to do what was right? 

And Skinner was nodding. Pleased that he'd caught on. "You probably won't even have to grovel too much, Jeff. You're young, idealistic. He'd expect you to be a little..." 

"Wayward." 

"I was going to say rebellious, but yes." 

"But he doesn't think... he knows I have nowhere to go. And he knows I'll figure that out.... would I figure it out so soon?" It sounded like a stupid question, but it really didn't feel like one. And Skinner's smile was not cruel. 

"You're a very smart boy. And he knows that, too." 

Jeffrey licked his lips, not missing the brief return of the predator, or the not-entirely-natural way it was removed. Skinner had his own game. He could not block that knowledge from himself, but then.... he had no options. None at all... 

And that didn't seem like an entirely bad thing. 

Skinner's hand was on his shoulder again. Gentle this time. Not soft, but warm. His face wanted to tilt over until it could rest on his knuckles. He felt his body wanting to be tired. But Skinner said: 

"You can do this. Get me the codes, get out. No more than seventy-two hours. Do you understand?" 

And he knew what that meant. In three days he'd be free. The screaming thing wanted to know what he'd be free to do, but Skinner's blunt thumb brushed his cheek and Jeffrey was abruptly locked in the other man's gaze. 

Dark, dark waters. And they promised him that in three days he'd have something to do. Someone to be, if it was only a place for Skinner to seat his cock and -- "Oh, God." 

Skinner tipped his head to the side, searched him and smiled again. Still genuinely happy, but oh he really was trapped here and then Skinner leaned in and *took* his mouth, took it like Jeffrey had never actually had claim of it himself. 

He was hard instantly, aching. Acid in his veins instead of blood had to be and Skinner's tongue Skinner's hand Skinner's other hand and Jeffrey wanted very badly to pay this way. And continue to pay. When had this become the *reward*? Did it matter? 

But then it was over and he heard himself moan, practically mewl. Skinner's hand tightened on his jaw and he abruptly realized his eyes were closed. Opened them to find Skinner looking so damned *affectionate* -- "Please..." 

"You need to go back now, Jeffrey. I need you to look exhausted for your father. Wired." 

"And rock hard?" 

Skinner snorted, cleared his face, then laughed outright. "All right, I'm not going to lie. Molesting you wasn't in tonight's plan. Well, not in the *official* plan." 

Chuckling all the while. It was a deep, rumbling thing. Rusty and oddly endearing. Jeffrey really wasn't looking for endearing, though. He reached out, touched Skinner's rough-stubbled cheek. Skinner froze, and Jeffrey swallowed but he didn't stop. 

Let his hand drift lower, brushing chest and hard abdomen and yeah he was *baking* under his pants. Hot and hard and Jeffrey licked his lips again but then Skinner grabbed his wrist and wrenched it away. 

Jeffrey snarled. He could accept being a part of Skinner's game but this was too much right now -- "I imagine you're a lot of things, Skinner. I never really expected cock tease to be one of them." 

The laugh this time was more the bark Jeffrey expected, wanted. Without warning, Skinner lifted him from the chair, slammed him against the wall and kissed him again. Jeffrey had a dizzy moment to celebrate, another to watch the screaming thing claw at the walls of his mind because it simply wasn't a pleasant place anymore, and then Skinner yanked his pants down and took his cock and that rough contact was just right -- 

"This what you want, boy?" 

"No, more -- " 

Skinner kneed his legs further apart and let Jeffrey feel every single callus. So much friction and so so good -- 

"Too bad. This is all you're going to get." 

Another kiss, even deeper this time and Jeffrey could feel himself opening and opening to that thick, roving tongue and he decided he could accept that. 

He kicked his pants off entirely, heard the fabric tear on his shoe. Braced one foot on the wall and slid it up. Felt the not-so-fine fabric of Skinner's pants chafe the inside of his thigh and shivered and bucked harder into the man's fist. 

He had leverage this way and he used it, not having it in him to even *try* to be contrary enough to make this last. He moaned into Skinner's mouth and felt the man press closer and oh God *squeeze* him and it hurt but his body wanted more. 

Jeffrey fucked and fucked and felt himself chafe, felt himself getting raw and didn't care. He was higher than he could remember being and it still wouldn't come and he worked himself faster, felt the muscle wrench slightly in his ass but Skinner seemed to know what happened. Grabbed him with his other hand and kneaded and pushed and Jeffrey had the simultaneous urge to melt down the wall and push himself until he broke so hard even Skinner couldn't fix it. 

The latter impulse won handily and suddenly, finally, his body whipped him into a twisted new shape, tensed him there, and let him shoot all over Skinner's fist and shirt. 

At which point the urge to melt down the wall returned with a vengeance, halted only by Skinner releasing him only to grab him by the shoulders and haul him upright again. 

"You're not allowed to pass out, boy. Do you need me to give you a stim?" 

Those hands... one dry, the other sticky with Jeffrey's own semen. Both so damned warm. It wasn't *his* fault he was about as solid as a snowcream under the Vulcan sun... "Mmmph. Probably."


	22. Chapter 22

Skinner stood in the soft, cooling Kronos night and stared down the empty catwalk as though he could still see the tired, wired boy limping away from him. The needle of the moral compass seemed to have come loose with some wild spin and was poking him in the chest. Jeffrey was right to have been scared. That old man, Spender... he was damn dangerous and Skinner's reassurances about fatherly feelings had been...lies. Guesses, at best. 

He hoped that he was right -- everything depended on it after all. And was it wrong then to know that even if he knew the boy would end up dead, or worse, he would have made them anyway? 

It shouldn't be wrong. Commander Sergei Andropovich had sent hundreds of boys to their deaths in battle with similar reassurances -- oh, not that there wouldn't be deaths among them, but that there would also be heroes -- doers of right, protectors of good... 

The risk is great, but the prize is greater. But with this boy -- 

Not 'boy', he corrected himself. Young man. And even so, what he'd done was...worse. He lifted his fingers to his face, smelled the rich salt there. 

Just call it lust and be done with it, Skinner, he told himself. He wanted you. You wanted...   
But that was it, wasn't it? What he'd wanted. Still wanted, his cock diamond hard, aching, weeping through the coarse material of his trousers. No name to put to it, but a feeling, a smell, a taste. And he pressed the side of his hand hard and sudden into his mouth, sucked hard on the flesh between thumb and fingers, his mouth flooding with the taste of come and adrenaline and want. 

It rolled through him, caught him up like a wave. Tore away the words, the worry. His lip curled up in a feral snarl he didn't even feel and he yanked the goading hand from his mouth, whirled on his ship and sprang in through the open door.


	23. Chapter 23

Skinner had taken another being onto the ship, but then he had taken it to the repair room. 

But there had been sounds. Smells. 

But the new thing had left. 

But Skinner had watched it go, savored its taste. 

But Skinner was on him now, heat and stone and need so high and sharp it made Alex ache. 

More. 

A small, tender-new part of him wondered if this was when he should pause, ask questions. But then Skinner got his pants down far enough and raised Alex to his knees. The floor was cold, and he pressed his cheek to it. Waited for Skinner. 

Waited. 

Too long, too long and was this new, pale thing so pleasing as to make Alex himself unwantable? 

He heard Skinner growl, felt it rip through every vulnerable place he had and pushed his ass back to where Skinner should be, but he wasn't there. Alex hadn't felt him move, but he wasn't there. 

He flipped over on his back to see, and found Skinner looking down at him curiously, paused somewhere too far away for Alex to reach. He was naked from the waist down, columns of furred muscle leading up and up to the much darker, thicker curls surrounding the other man's cock. 

Thick, hard, drooling... Alex was about to kneel up and take it in his mouth when he noticed what Skinner was holding. In one hand was the knife whose grip Alex could still feel on his palm, in the other was some sort of tube. He swallowed, and each breath felt too big, seemed to pull and stretch his skin. 

"The knife, please, Skinner..." Just the thought of being connected to Skinner by the deadly curve of the man's own knife tugged him closer to where he wanted to be. The edges of Alex's vision blurred, darkened. He had nothing but Skinner now. Skinner's heavy sac, tightening visibly as he watched Alex. The play of muscles as he walked close again, a perfection of shift and flex. 

Skinner knelt between his thighs and Alex braced his feet and settled on the man's thighs. The hair started to chafe almost immediately, and Alex could taste it coming like the taste of his own bitten lip. But he set the knife down. 

"No --" 

Skinner backhanded him casually, just hard enough to whip Alex's cheek around to kiss the floor. 

"Wait." 

Alex tasted where his teeth had cut his cheek, but let his body move like the shifting curve of a dune. Skinner growled again, and Alex could see the way the man's jaw tightened when he did it. Wanted to push his mouth against the other man's throat to feel it, bite at it. 

And then Skinner lifted his sac and squeezed the icy contents of the tube behind. Far colder than anything he'd ever felt, and he thought he could feel himself crystallizing. 

Skinner clamped a hand on his throat and Alex became aware he'd been writhing at about the same time the warm, choking weight stilled him. 

"Wait." 

And he tried to tell Skinner how cold he was, how the strange gel sent waves up through his groin to every part of his body, how the pain wasn't right if it wasn't Skinner's, but he wasn't allowed to speak. 

Alex felt spiked, shivered to an iced core of... *something*. He didn't know how Skinner could stand to be touching him; it seemed as though he should be painful to the touch, numbing and inherently damaging. But he still ached when the other man pulled his hand away from Alex's throat. 

Then there were fingers at him, and at first the feeling was so muted it was terrifying, but as Skinner rubbed and prodded he felt the heat start to build again, much faster than his tingling flesh could stand. He felt himself beginning to burn everywhere those fingers touched and inside, inside... 

Once Alex had spent a Zero staring up at the far stars, watching a thin crust of ice form as he sat in the long, long night. But even before the sun came at dawn the ice was gone. And by the time the sun peered over the horizon the sands were burning, as if by the magic of simple anticipation. For the first time in his life, Alex had felt burned within a few minutes, and had to force himself to go out for the hunt before full sundown that night. 

Under Skinner's touch he was the eager sands. Part of him knew it must be the gel, but the gel was Skinner's and the gel only burned after Skinner touched him so it was Skinner doing this to him, making him hurt, marking him again... 

And when Skinner slid his cock in it went easy, disturbingly easy, but in its wake came the burn. Flaring with his stretch, radiating out from his cock like a match dropped in the center of an oil puddle. It felt as though his flesh was peeling away from the inside, that Skinner would make him tingling ash on the too-clean wind of the ship. 

Alex let the moan he'd felt building out and was surprised to find it a yell, not surprised to hear Skinner's name in it. Skinner just grabbed his hips and pulled him in tighter and Alex wanted to know why his hair didn't start burning because he was going to feel this feel this -- 

A slight shift to seat him better and then Skinner rammed in and he'd only *thought* it would be too easy on him. Each thrust pulled at Alex's limits, strained them like tendons over a blade. Skinner had left him raw and *then* taken him. 

Impossible that he hadn't thought of this before, in some way, but he hadn't. Skinner was giving him something fundamentally new and *right* with each twisting slam of his hips. Alex felt himself fitting within the subtle curve of the other man's pelvis and wanted to *stay* there, spitted with need and Skinner's hard cock. 

And then the other man pulled out entirely, flipped him over and got him on his knees and pushed him back down on his cock. Skinner moved fast and well as always, and it was as much the casual control as the return of the flesh he craved the most. 

And then Skinner roped a powerful forearm around his throat and settled the other just above Alex's waist. The point of the knife pricked a scattered spray between his nipples as Alex worked himself back and down and the voice at his ear was saying the words he desperately needed to hear... 

"You..." Skinner grated out low and raw between clenched jaws. "What I want. This..." ran his knife-hand knuckles hard through the skim of fresh blood, pushing the point up to somewhere under Alex's Adam's apple. 

Alex shuddered, unable to stop his throat from arching up into the steel. 

Felt nothing but a tug and warmth and then a cold blanch across his flesh as all the ice and heat inside threatened to spill out. 

And oh he wanted it, wanted more, wanted all...red sands, black sky, white sheaves of wind. And Skinner. Yes. The name was right. The man. No words but his body fought for every touch of steel, every tearing thrust inside his ass. His mouth making sounds of want. Sounds a newthing made at the nipple of its crèche. Oh want. He'd never known such want. Things within his grasp, out of his control. Skinner, Skinner, knife and razored cock. Core me, Skinner. Gut the shell. Peel away the fragile flesh and let the angel out out out... 

And the voice at his ear, anchoring the creature that would fly: 

"You'd let me kill you, boy," he said. 

The knife withdrawn and Alex understood then -- not yet. There were tests yet -- new Patterns. Not just the one but fractally unwinding out from here. Such radiant delight. Oh Skinner Skinner. You are godly, sandborne. You are the number uncounted. You are... 

"Oh yes..." Alex breathed. 

"And thank me as you died. It would be *right*..." Skinner's breath was hitching, his hips grinding machine hard, deep ache of that cock nosing through folds of swollen flesh inside him... 

"Yes, Skinner. Yes, it would be right. Please yes..." 

"Right to hurt..." hard thrust to twist the ache inside.. Oh yes... "Right to take..." and Skinner's mouth was on his shoulder, teeth settling against the taut skin and tendons aching to be bit. Alex moaned, arched harder, but Skinner's mouth pulled off him. Soft buzz at his ear: "Right to cut..." short downward jerk of the knife and Alex felt it jar the bone of his sternum. Oh Skinner, yes! No pain at all just that icy heat and the sound of his own roar as he writhed without control between the shimmering points. 

"And what if I want to gentle you, boy?" Skinner asked. "Is that right too?" 

No, Alex wanted to shriek. No. Only this -- knife and teeth and cock -- only the pain Skinner could provide. But the lesson of the *repair* center had not been lost. He was a pup, a newthing. Skinner's to make and break and...gentle. He writhed again a final time to show himself exactly how far from mastery he was, and relaxed, panting into Skinner's hard embrace. 

"Yes," he whispered softly. "Yours. Anything you choose...is right. Skinner." 

"Close your eyes, boy," Skinner said. "Breathe easy." Alex complied, letting himself go boneless, be fitted to that powerful warmth at his back. Skinner was rocking him. Deep aching pulse like the washes of summerfloods through dry rock gullies. Not Pattern at all as he understood it, but it was of Skinner's making...he would learn. He would learn. 

"I fucked a woman like this once," Skinner said into his ear. "An Orion whore. Paid 200 hundred hard for just the one night. No holosuite. Just me and her." 

"A...mother?" Alex asked. Skinner's talk of women and whores disturbed him. He didn't know why. 

"Shhh, Alex," Skinner said. "Don't talk. Just feel." 

Alex turned his focus inward, to his center. Sensations soft but crowding. Skinner's heat, the rasp of hair against the backs of his thighs and ass, the cold hardness of the floor beneath his knees, burning ache in his chest where the knife had bit; hot coiled stone of Skinner's forearms bracing him. "I fucked her for hours," Skinner's voice went on. "Played her nipples like instruments, clit like a fever tongue and her body wept and wept..." 

Alex wondered how a woman's body wept. His own cock was glazed and drooling with the evidence of its desire. Skinner's cock in him was maddening, hard and huge, tugging so gently at the swollen burning place inside. Something skittering and sweet trickling out from around the distant memory of pain, ran down his legs, up across his back. He whined at it, tossed his head a little. 

Skinner's chuckle shook him. 

"She made sounds just like that," he said. 

"She was beautiful," Skinner went on. "But not so beautiful as you, Alex." In, in. Alex frowned. Skinner's words were strange and he wasn't sure he was even meant to understand. And this fucking was so soft, like the faintest scrape of wind, smallest spill of sand across a dune. Skinner's arms shifted, his hot, rough palms stroked Alex's nipples. Chafed them, just on the edge of pain but never falling. The sweet things skirled out from there too. 

So many of them now they came in waves, filling his skin with a strange distracting buzz -- how to focus on the fucking when this strangeness moved beneath his skin? Beguiling him, like the music of Skinner's voice. Deeper now, the words punctuated with little whispers, little moans -- the grind of stone on stone. Skinner's cock thrusting deeper now, but smooth and slow. Pulling the sweetness together in one place, pooling it and there was no pain, so why was he crying out...? 

"Oh Alex...you sound so...wild," Skinner gasped in his ear. "Does it hur...hurt to be touched so softly?" 

Hurt? No. Far, far from hurt. Far from anything he understood. Something clenching in his chest, wrenching at the seals of the den that was himself. 

"No..." he cried out. "No...no...no." His head rolling side to side helplessly on Skinner's shoulder. No. This lesson was too hard. He would as surely die from this as fire or ice. And Skinner held him so tightly, thrusting, thrusting... 

Skinner's hands moving again down his chest -- hot, blunt fingers of one hand caught against a nipple, held. Rolled it gently, tugged. The other palm drifted soft as mud down his belly, through the soft curls, to rest around his cock. 

Took him up, slathered with his own slick. No pressure, just the loose hot fist, callused palm the only friction and the cock inside him, warm lips at his neck, tongue taking his ear, filling him. 

"Alex..." warm breath sank the word in deep. "Alex...so beautiful." 

Something gently shattered in that rough stone voice, the sound of his name. He felt Skinner groan and grow huge inside of him, felt spilling warmth and with a sucking drag all the sweetness came together at once. 

Blinding flash like heat-lightning without sound and he was lifted up and out...and slammed back down to pleasure so thick he was drowning in it, not even able to hear himself crying out. "I die. I die. I die..." or feel the wetness on Skinner's face, before it was wiped away.


	24. Chapter 24

Walter felt the boy -- his Alex -- shudder around him, against him. Tightened his hold and buried his head in the sweaty, tangled strands of Alex's hair. 

Alex was moaning about death in the most mournful, normal way Walter had ever thought he would hear. The whore, too, had been this way, though it was more muted. Walter wasn't sure if he'd done wrong or not. This was what was supposed to happen, yes, but to feel Alex accept so much *tenderness*... 

He was loose in Walter's arms, utterly pliable in a way unfamiliar to him. This wasn't his simple possession -- that was something deeper and more fundamental than bone. This was...a gift. And, by the sound of Alex's breathing, the breathy catch of soft moans, it hadn't been an easy one to give. 

"Alex?" 

"I am not myself..." 

And he sounded so *lost* -- the impulse was too cradle, to soothe and Skinner indulged, taking pleasure in the smooth skin of chest and belly, in the way Alex's nape cradled his face, but Alex's moans... 

Louder, deeper sounds that twitched his softening cock even as they raised alarm. This was only making it worse. A large part of him wanted to ignore the sound, perhaps make it louder. The boy was *his*, and he'd sworn everything was right. Whatever he wanted to do was right and now every inch of his body longed to hold Alex and soak in the tears that would eventually have to come. 

But would he still be Alex, then? What would happen if Walter let him tremble on the edge of this until he broke? Would Walter still want him? His promise... he'd promised to give Alex his pain, his strange transcendence, again and again. 

A promise was a promise, be it sworn with blood or come. Walter did not want to risk growing disinterested in a broken man, no matter how wonderful it felt to break. If he could do this, save Alex from his own needs... 

He could do it again, someday. 

Walter tore himself loose, slipping out wet with nothing but the bannet oil he had, unfortunately, grown used to in the long nights alone on the *Rose of Sharon*. Alex fell to the floor immediately, began to curl into a ball. 

Another moment of confusion -- perhaps leaving him like *this* would be best? Somewhere between comfort and pain, whatever it meant to him? But Walter felt much too cold to go without *some* touch. He grabbed one shoulder hard, pushed Alex to his back. Searched his eyes but found only vaguely terrified depression. 

Damn. 

He set his tone to a low, commanding growl. "Alex." 

Alex pushed up against Walter's hand, and the movement was a good sign, even if it was almost certainly just a slight rebellion against not being allowed to go fetal. 

Walter moved to straddle him, ignored Alex's slow and absurdly weak wave- motion to throw him off by sheer force of will. Moved his hand in front of Alex's face to make him see, pressed the slack mouth with steadily increasing force until it was hard enough to bruise. 

And then he moved down to the lightly bleeding cut on Alex's chest and ran two fingers slowly over the length of it, forcing himself to push harder when he grew slick with blood. Felt the boy stir a little and swallowed back a smile. 

Alex was watching him intently, focus returned with a vengeance. Walter felt like a massive insect being catalogued by a scientist with a phobia. 

"Alex." 

Bare flash of teeth and Christos but it seemed like a world was coming back to life. Spring came hard no matter how brief the winter, perhaps. 

Or maybe it had just been too long since he'd done something like this with no immediate plans to endanger the receiver. 

Walter pulled his hand away from the bottom of the wound with slow care. He knew he was very, very close to the solar plexus but did not allow himself to worry. When Alex was watching him with the most attention Walter felt he could command at this point, he jabbed the spot quickly once, then again. 

Alex's shout was breathy and small. 

Familiar. 

Olive eyes narrowed speculatively, but the confusion was still there. 

Walter brought his hand to his mouth and sucked the blood off one finger, watching Alex the entire time. Feeling him breathe. He didn't realize he hadn't been paying attention to the taste until he'd brought his hand back to Alex's swollen mouth. 

Too much time to think; Alex was hesitating. 

"Suck it. Now." 

Alex did so immediately, with a voracity that only rang false until he felt the boy's groan tear through the nerves of his fingertips. Better than any oil, this. Harsher, more real --   
And then Alex had moved on to another finger and then the rare droplets of blood elsewhere on Walter's hand. He was beginning to feel vaguely chewed but then the arm he wasn't bracing came up to push his hand back to the chest wound. 

"Yes, this is still you, all of --" 

"More." 

Walter paused, wondering if he'd gone too far, not far enough, if he'd made a mistake and if so, when. 

Alex squeezed his wrist. "Skinner." 

And he looked into Alex's eyes and was thankful for the visibly dawning understanding. Because the plea was one he couldn't even think of refusing. 

"All right, Alex. All right." 

But he let himself go slow.


	25. Chapter 25

By the time Jeffrey made it back to the edge of his father's property -- he could no longer even think of calling it home -- the dawn was beginning to break. There were already workers out in the fields. 

He could see the house from here, its rows and rows of slim green pillars rising like the stalks of some exotic plant, it suddenly seemed both alien and irreproachably beautiful. 

And, gods, he hurt. So tired he could barely keep himself upright against the stone marker. 

Maybe, he thought, he could simply stay here. Quietly die and sink into the ground and not have to face the irretrievable mess that his life had become. The thought seemed to quell the screaming thing somewhat. The cold thing just replayed the tape of Quirabi: why don't you just kill me? Why? 

The blister on his left heel spiked pain through his whole leg as he walked; sweat stung and chafed his groin where Skinner -- even thinking the man's name sent a bolt right to the very spot -- where Skinner had betaken him. Where he'd not so much given himself, but thrust himself at the man, demanding to be had. Where had that come from? He honestly could not remember when it had become his intention to be fucked by the man who, not long before he'd feared as a rapist. 

And how had he come back from that to here? It was as though by leaving home -- what had it been? A turn ago? A day? A rev? -- he'd somehow knocked the laws of cause and effect completely out of true. Not real, none of it. And yet, as he approached the circular turn of the drive he felt for the first time since the alley, real fear. 

He stood a long time before the closed door, unable to bring himself either to touch the call chime or walk away. In the end, he did neither. The door simply opened. His father stood in the doorway, 'baccy stick in hand, face unreadable as he took in the torn stained tunic, the fading cuts, the stink. 

"What do you want, Jeffrey?" his father asked. Jeffrey felt tears rise to brim in his gritty eyes, but did not fall. The things he wanted. If his father had asked him yesterday, the day before he wouldn't have known how to answer. Now his wants were simple, narrowed down to three: Walter Skinner, freedom, and for justice to be done. And the fact that whether or not he got what he wanted depended entirely on their never being known. 

"I..." he hesitated, pride and anger pushing him to damn them all and slap the truth into his father's bland and contemptuous face. 

"You what?" So calm it broke him, tears of rage rolled down his cheeks and he hated them knowing they'd be taken for weakness and fear and despair and that he had to let that ride. 

"I didn't know..." he stopped, smashed the tears away with the back of his sleeve. Couldn't bring himself to say more. 

"Are you asking for forgiveness, Jeffrey? To be taken back into the fold?" 

Something in his father's voice, and Jeffrey looked up. Those eyes on him. Not bland. Not cold. And for a second -- a loathsome, shameful second -- he wondered if he'd made some terrible mistake. If he *had* been wayward. Foolish. Naive beyond belief. He hadn't thought... 

And Skinner -- the sudden sense memory of Skinner's hard hand upon his cock, his snarl: "...that's all you'll *get*, boy..." impinged on him. Humiliation. Shame. He felt his face flush hot and red. Had he been so baldly *used*? His idea to leave, yes, but this return was Skinner's plan... The idea made him sick. He felt the porch sway under his feet and his father's hand was on his shoulder, steadying. 

"Come inside," his father said. "Get yourself cleaned up. We'll talk." 

Jeffrey almost laughed. Another promised shower. Sure, little Jeffy Spender will do anything you want if you'll just let him wipe the dirt off his face. But no one had. And the laugh dissolved back to the verge of tears again as the doorseal chuffed behind him and the house's cool, processed air enveloped him. 

So tired. And the stim had all but burned to ashes in his veins, leaving him shaky and a little wild. He was hardly aware of what was going on around him. His father was walking away, the echo of his voice in Jeffrey's head. What had he said? Something about a fire? Had there been a fire? A soft, respectful tug on his tunic and he was surprised to see a familiar servant (what was the boy's name -- Merkus? Menden?) offering his arm. 

"Has there been a fire?" Jeffrey asked. But the boy just looked at him uncomprehending and led him up the curved stairs to the master bath. 

So tired he barely remembered the bath, the servant stripping him, alarmed exclamations at the bruises, raw scrapes. He did not remember at all being dried and salved and taken to his bed. And yet, there he woke, still and bruised and smelling of lineament and oils. 

He thought it must be late and that sent an adrenaline kick through his system. Seventy-two hours, Skinner had said. No more. 

And that confused him further. When had Skinner become a reflex? He sat up, ran fingers through his curls. //Too long...// he thought, encountering tangles and felt the grey despair of home wash through him at the thought. He truly *was* home. In his own bed. All of this -- the barns, Quirabi, the letter, Skinner -- could all simply have been a dream. A nightmare. He could make it that, he understood, with a word to his father. *Could* -- not just in physical reality, but in his heart. 

It wouldn't take much. Just the quick death of something barely sprouted. The snuffing of a tiny lick of flame. He'd be dead inside forever after that, but would it matter? 

No, the real question was: would Skinner care? 

That hand had been as hard as stone, that voice... and no real promise spoken. He had taken everything on faith. Had believed utterly. But why? Because Skinner's hands were hard? His back strong? His killing hand fast? Because his growl made Jeffrey want to spread himself wide and give everything he was or had away? Or because it was his own real heart's desire to do this, *be* this -- a free man and not the vessel for his father's revenant ghost.   
As if tuned for the vibrations of treacherous thoughts upon the air, the com unit beside his bed gave a single chime. 

Jeffrey started, then composed himself and opened the line. 

"Sleep well?" his father asked. 

"Yes, sir. Thank you," Jeffery said. 

"Good," the old man's voice was warm. 

Jeffrey felt a little frisson of fear. That the old man wasn't showing his anger was a bad sign. Or always had been. So much had changed. 

He was hardly sure of his own name anymore. //Jeffrey,// said the cold thing. //Jeffrey Spender of House Spender, heir to all the wealth and glory of the name. Or maybe not.// 

"I'll dress and come to your study," Jeffrey said. 

"No rush, Jeffrey," said his father pleasantly. "The Admiral and I have sufficient work to occupy us while we wait."


	26. Chapter 26

Alex was fighting sleep and Skinner was not helping. He rested on Alex, held him still with weight and heat and himself. And breathed stories of battles in his ear. His breath was warm, everything was warm. 

It wasn't an unfamiliar sensation, but he'd never felt it last this long. Always the broil or the freeze would come -- the thought made him nuzzle mindlessly at Skinner's shoulder -- and leave him finely tuned for salvage, battles of his own. 

But this just went on and on. 

And Alex could not stop his reflexes, could not stop tensing for the extreme that never came. And each release left him sleepier. And then would come the repair center. 

It wasn't that Alex thought he had any real chance of avoiding it, even if he stayed awake -- Skinner would do what he wanted, that was what had been agreed. But sleeping would mean missing *this*. 

Each heartbeat sent wave after wave of indefinable feeling through his body, catching on where he had been bruised, wounded, or fucked, and reminding every part of him, every cell, of what had been done. 

When he woke, all of that would be gone until Skinner decided to do it again. And *that* was what made it hard to breathe sometimes. Skinner could pull him back from anywhere he went, but Skinner wasn't always *there*. 

Skinner often found him as strange as Alex himself found this new existence. Alex knew it.   
But the strangeness went away when Skinner was inside him and digging to get further, closer. Then Alex could see him following where Alex led, the leash coiling Skinner to him, not him to Skinner. And it was sweet, and he knew one day Skinner wouldn't remember to pull back, and that thought could make him hard as stone. 

But... 

Skinner knew more paths than Alex had ever heard of, dreamed of. And that was a frightening thing, and so needful. 

"Skinner." 

And interrupting the story -- talk of runes and luck or some such -- earned him a bite. Sometimes Alex wondered just what Skinner was training him for. 

"Yes, Alex?" 

"I want your promise." 

"What promise?" And sleepy murmur slipped easily into calculation, suspicion. So many reasons to need this. 

"You will not leave me... untouched when you are finished with me." 

Skinner rolled off. The blood had dried between them and Alex's chest wound tried to hold on to the other man. The feeling made Alex want to learn more words for perfect. And then Skinner's hand was molded to one side of his face, thumb settled over his cheekbone. A smaller weight that was no less blanketing. 

"When I am done, I will kill you." 

Some tension Alex had barely been aware of released at the words and he felt the ground disappear from beneath him. Sleep was suddenly chasing him far faster than he'd thought possible since long before he became a person. 

Skinner leaned in closer. Alex could smell his blood on the other man's breath and his eyelids were so damned *heavy*. 

"I'll even make sure you're awake for it. I promise." 

And Alex let Skinner's promise push him down into sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Jeffrey wasn't sure why he'd ever thought he had a choice about who he was. 

Two days here, just two short days, and he could already feel how it would be if he didn't get out, once and for all. His father came home with him every night now, and there was no denying the thrill the man's obvious pride gave him. 

And -- he took meals with Jeffrey and his mother. It was a reminder of what he'd never really had, yes. But it was a promise, too. 

His father may have banked on the fact that he had no options, but... But. The man was genuinely *happy* to have taken his son fully into "the fold." It all made a terribly understandable kind of sense. 

Of course his parents had been distant his entire life. They knew exactly how a young man with a Federation education would see the Work -- and it was always capitalized -- and didn't want to get too attached, lest Jeffrey not grow into the right sort of man. 

He wondered what it meant that he was accepted back so *readily*. Was his rebellion so inconsequentially small? If so, maybe he would have come back anyway, Skinner or no. 

Or maybe they were just deluded. Loved their son too much to see his true feelings. And what did it make him to reject his parents' love? 

Or maybe this was all one, long test of Byzantine proportions. His father had built a deluxe holosuite, and he was the only real person here. After all, if he kept a secret like the Barns for so many years, what else could he do? That one hurt the mind. 

Best to think what he'd been thinking all along. That he'd grown up willfully stupid, that he was paying for it now. And that the only way to redeem himself was to send the codes to Skinner. It had been ludicrously easy to get them. Security personnel were just more nameless servants, after all. 

One look at the crest on his crisp, clean tunic and all the information Skinner could possibly want was at his fingertips. So easy. 

Too easy. 

The thought woke him up enough that the letters and numbers scrolling down his screen became real again. The history, the statistics of every part of the Work. Worlds, species, money, names... 

So very, very easy. He looked up and found Quirabi staring at him. Nothing new, she always stared. 

He found himself smiling, mouthing the word "soon." 

Saw it work into her gaze, make it flare into something like human interest for the first time. 

If this was a test, that would surely be the transmission of a signal to Them. 

As would his fast, easy upload of the information, all of it, into his wristcom. 

The walls did not fade into a grid, the world did not disappear. 

All right. 

Tonight, away from the inward-searching cameras of the Barns, he would make his call. Send everything, everything. 

And then he would wait. 

The way Jeffrey saw it, he could either come out into the real world again and be summarily executed, or he could get free. 

The screaming thing wanted to point out that there were alternatives, but he was growing accustomed to kicking it silent. There were two ways this could go. Only two. 

And either way he won.


	28. Chapter 28

Walter's hands ran the console one last time and the *Rose of Sharon* kicked softly once and began to rise. 

Walter liked watching his hands move like that -- without his volition, usually without his attention. Losing himself in the act of piloting Sharon was as close as he ever got to machinehood. And in the final rise before a raid Walter could almost feel himself honed and focused to the task of blade. Could be *Skinner* then, cutting away the rot to let the clean bones bleach. 

No fear and no regrets, only the calm understanding that he and his purpose were one and would be fulfilled. 

Not this time, though. 

No question of why or wherefore of the hooks that held him in his flesh. One had been set almost two months back on a red desert world where screaming death lurked below the silent sands. A hook made of strangeness and blood and sex that bordered on the numinous; a new religion compelling enough to snag the soul of a man who could not bear to believe. The other... 

The other was...slimmer. New. Thin and bright as a curved needle that should have been easy to pluck from his hide. Hardly a hook at all, but...that laugh had felt so *good*. And what had been offered in those eyes. Something warmer and more...human...than worship. 

More dangerous too, and yet he knew without a doubt he would not attack one *millisecond* before the 72 hours were up. 

Which was close, now. He checked his chron again without needing to. He could feel those standard seconds ticking by like drops of sweat. Like tiny tears. He scowled at the sentimentality of the imagery, but if he had learned one thing it was that his feelings might be channeled, caged, but they could never be denied. 

Sharon was a powerhouse and they had already risen from the blue of sky to the indigo of troposphere. Skinner kept the orbit low and tight. He'd not get many runs at it -- one of the reasons he'd waited until the very last minutes of the allotted time -- before someone noticed that the cargo ship from dock 16 had not completed its departure. 

Not long now -- but long enough, he thought with a certain wry bitterness -- for the brooding and regrets to spread like poison in the wine, fill his head. 

Not yet, he told himself. Not yet. Not while Sharon still thrummed strong and healthy beneath his hands. Not while Alex still breathed slow and steady in the med-unit coffin. (And another regret to add to the list: he'd promised Alex he would be awake to know his death). 

Not while he still hadn't seen Jeffrey's torn and bleeding corpse or heard news of his death. Not until the very end. 

But the green loveliness of Kronos continued to burr by far below. Once, twice, three times and the fourth orbit completed without a crackle of static or flicker on the monitor and the chron ticked over silently: 06:48, 06:47, 06:46. Down to the crunch then. Without the codes his best bet was to suicide dive the facility. A ship the size of Sharon falling from the sky could do a awful lot of damage, even with the built in safeguards that would prevent a warp core breech on impact. And if those safeguards were...removed. 

Two minutes of leeway to begin the climb and dive and Skinner finally allowed his mind to begin its checklist of things undone and promises unkept and pleasures left untasted until far too late. And armed the timer on the self-destruct.


	29. Chapter 29

Dinner had run long, of course. Time rolled by, and by, and by, and the wine was excellent, and his mother never looked so radiant as when she smiled, and conversation with both of his parents touched music as easily as it did politics and he could stay. 

He could. 

The wristcom was heavy on his skin. His arm seemed too thin, too pale for the thing. Over the past several hours it had grown huge and insectile, heavy with illicit information and, perhaps, his own soul. 

Skinner wanted to burn everything to slag, everything. Jeffrey was not so young that he thought the Spender compound would be spared. The Barns weren't even two klicks away...   
And whatever his parents were, 

//They love me...// 

the servants were certainly innocent. The valets, the maids, the cooks... Everyone would die, whether they deserved it or not. For some goddamn stranger's cause. 

Who was he to judge anyway? 

The closest Jeffrey had ever come to violence was the simple self-defense classes his father had made him take as a child. He'd never touched a person in anger, and yet with just a few taps into his com he'd be condemning dozens to a quick death, fire from the sky. 

Or he could wait just another sixty seconds and... stay. 

There were fresh parna in a bowl on his night table. Syrup and cream to the side. They would be cooling, refreshing. They would be gone before Jeffrey realized he'd eaten more than three, four slices. The scent filled the air with a perfume he'd once lapped off the throat of a Rakshani girl in the dusty silence of an afternoon sleepcycle. 

He knew she worked in a textile plant just five klicks to the south now. She probably wouldn't survive, either. 

Forty seconds, sweet syrup on his lip. 

His father had held him by the chin today, asked him if he knew how long he'd waited to have his son by his side. The Work was vital, but family was something else altogether. 

Thirty-five seconds, and he knew the cream would be thick and decadently addictive on his tongue. The cream was from only the finest of brood clawa, and it could not be found off Kronos. 

He would never taste it again. 

Jeffrey brought the small bowl to his lips and drank it down, far faster than he'd ever consumed it before. An image of himself as a child, lapping the cream up like an animal, rose in his mind. One male servant had seen him do it. He could not have been more than sixteen, but to Jeffrey he'd been a man. 

And Jeffrey had learned to enjoy a man's touch. 

Fifteen seconds. 

Would any world be so lovely as Kronos? 

Ten. 

How would it be on the day Quirabi's eyes lost their hope when she looked at him? Would he care? 

Five. 

Jeffrey squeezed his eyes shut and punched in the code that would upload everything to Skinner's ship computer... 

security codes first, bold and damning... 

...and when he opened them, he was falling neatly into the co-pilot's chair on the *Rose of Sharon*, and onscreen something very small and bright was hurtling toward his world, but the ship was banking hard and -- 

"Brace yourself." 

He whipped his head around and saw Skinner grimly settled into his own chair, let his body do the same. 

A heartbeat and they were into warp, and while it wasn't precisely a new sensation it was unfamiliar. 

Long before he thought moving around would result in anything but immediate, graphic death Skinner stood, stretched, and came to squat by Jeffrey's chair. 

"You cut it close." 

"You didn't leave without me..." And it wasn't what he'd meant to say, but it would do. 

Skinner brushed his face, and then looked down at his thumb. Jeffrey looked too, and noticed that he'd been less than neat with the cream. Skinner grunted, brushed away the small drop over Jeffrey's lip with a brand of impersonal gentleness. Jeffrey licked it off before he could think about it, and then simply sat within the small, dark circle of Skinner's gaze. 

"Do you need a sedative?" 

"Yes. Yes, I do." 

Another grunt and then Skinner was hauling him up and leading him off the bridge, toward whatever it was he'd chosen over home and family.


	30. Chapter 30

Walter released the myoflex cables and the heavy weights melted back into the wall. The exercise bench squirmed under his naked back and assumed the next shape in the workout program. Leg presses. Walter grunted against the weight as he extended muscles he hadn't worked for a week. He'd set a hard rhythm today -- pushing himself. Sweat already streaming from his chest, arms, legs. The room redolent. He felt...good. 

Still riding the triumph of Kronos. The satisfaction of vengeance delivered. The joy -- yes, joy -- at having kept both Alex *and* Jeffrey alive and whole. //As whole as they get,// the dour inner voice reminded him. But even the encroachment of the coming low couldn't dull the sense that right here and now, his life was a right and useful thing. 

He even thought he knew why. 

Two men under him. He had a command again. All he'd left, cast off with the Federation -- all he'd catalogued as lost, and he hadn't ever realized before the fundamental need he had for this. 

Not the power. Or not so *much* the power, as the company. The responsibility. Well, something like that. He was sure a Federation counselor would find some multi-syllable term for the *condition*. All his conditions. If they'd only known... It made him laugh out loud. 

"Share the joke?" a soft voice asked from beside the hatch. He hadn't heard young Jeff come in and marveled once again at how quietly the boy could move. 

Walter made a sound low in his throat that could have been dismissal, could have been the last of his laughter. 

"I'm not a nice man," he said. 

Spender blinked surprise at that. Sputtered a laugh of his own. Just a little one, but it reminded Walter just how far away from laughter Jeffrey had been since he'd crawled out from under the sedative's shade. He'd looked...ill. Greenish in the low ship's light. So quiet he might have been erasing his presence as he went, leaving rooms emptier then if he'd never been there at all. 

Sometimes, like now, he seemed to follow Walter around like a hesitant ghost, appearing a short while after Walter had settled himself somewhere and hovering just at the edges of his attention, willing to be drawn into conversation, but rarely initiating conversation of his own. The rest of the time he apparently spent in the infirmary, not abusing the med-unit as Walter first had feared, but simply sitting in there, reading, playing vids. or staring blankly at his comm bracelet as though he expecting an urgent message that was long overdue. 

"You want to work out?" Walter asked. 

Jeffrey didn't respond immediately, simply stared at him for several long moments. The bench gave a low shudder, reminding him that it was past time to move on to the next set of exercises. 

Long, shuddering breath. "I'm used to running, swimming... I haven't done much more than that." 

"I can tell." 

It made Jeffrey blush, a brief flash of color over his sallow cheeks. The boy abruptly looked made up for business. Walter had a few ugly moments when he couldn't remember why he hadn't simply taken the boy once they'd been safely in deep space. 

Something about time to acclimate, the need to be sure Alex wasn't feeling any residual effects from his Walter-induced identity crisis. 

No Starfleet captain would ever be in a situation quite like this one, the poor, sorry bastards. 

"I... I'd like to learn." 

Ripped out of his thoughts again, and Jeffrey was just a few important millimeters closer. The boy was a temptation in too many different ways. Walter would have to be very careful not to fuck this up. 

"I think you should stay with something... familiar for a while." 

That earned him an entirely humorless snort. Walter wondered, briefly, how much about Kronos Jeffrey hadn't said. But Jeffrey didn't give him time to ask. 

"Computer, bike." 

And there appeared Walter's own favorite. Proper positioning was key on a stationary, and there were any number of programmable designs perfect for keeping everything at just the right angle, just the right flex. 

This wasn't one of them. It was simple, grey, and administered one to four low grade shocks if you began to slack off before the allotted time. Far more of Walter's life than he cared to think about was explicitly designed for maximum stimulation. The thought he might grow numb to this, everything else was never welcome. 

Not that his lack of enthusiasm for it ever stopped it from coming, but it wouldn't do to let up about something like that -- 

"You spend a lot of time alone, don't you?" 

The reflex to punish the boy for prying died hard, but quickly. "I did." 

A purely speculative look that Walter met equably, and then Jeffrey was climbing on and gingerly adjusting himself for the maximized workout. He only missed his positioning once, but the four shocks he received probably made it feel like a bit more than that. 

Walter could almost feel the hairs on the boy's nape rise, but Jeffrey only yelped once. Walter couldn't keep from chuckling. 

"You're right. You *aren't* a very nice man, are you?" 

Which only made him laugh harder. 

"Bastard." But there was humor in Jeffrey's voice. "Computer, level *one*, please." And then he paused. "That wasn't level one, was it?" 

"I could just let you find out..." 

"Ah, a sadist, too. It's good to know who I signed on with." 

Just a little too serious that time. Damn. "It's level one." 

Jeffrey looked back over his shoulder, was promptly shocked for it, but shuddered it off. The scent of ozone mingled with Walter's own sweat. Familiar, comforting, better with someone else in here... Alex chose to do his own strange, brutalizing workouts alone. Usually after Walter had fallen asleep... 

"I trust you, you know." 

Jeffrey's tone had a lot more anger in it than the words perhaps warranted. But it was better than invisibility. "I know." 

He nodded, turned back into proper position. Got one more shock for not listening to the other one fast enough. Laughed shortly through his own yelp. 

And Walter went back to his workout. 

They exercised in silence for a while. Well, mostly silence. After twenty minutes of a punishing pace Jeffrey's yelps came a little faster. Walter could smell his sweat in the air, too, and let himself drift for a while in the shamelessly unsubtle atmosphere of suggestion for a while. 

Every breath made his own pain uniquely *worth* it, as though he was truly exerting himself just to make Jeffrey make those sounds. He was going to have to decide just when he'd let himself have the boy, if only to be able to have a definite time period for ignore all that smooth, unscarred baby-skin. 

Teach Alex how to enjoy it for himself, perhaps turn that vaguely cannibalistic look in his eyes when Jeffrey was around to something more healthy. 

Or, at the very least, more entertaining. And how had Jeffrey been entertaining himself... hmm. 

"Why the infirmary?" 

The sudden question made the boy jerk a bit, just enough for another shock. "I'm going to blame you if I start to get used to this, Skinner." Low, nearly breathless voice. 

"There are worse things." 

Jeffrey turned slowly, deliberately. The obviously conscious movement earned him at least three shocks. The bike was an excitable disciplinarian sometimes. And Walter could see every painful jolt in the boy's eyes. And every tremble. 

Walter didn't even try to hide his growing erection. But he also didn't let himself get too distracted, even by the discovery of Jeffrey's heretofore unknown streak of ruthless treachery. Christos, he was a lucky man. 

"The longer you go without turning, the more shocks you get." 

"True. Computer, remove bike." 

He landed on his toes and one hand, the move losing some of its grace in the boy's obvious fatigue, but none of its attraction. And then Jeffrey stood, took off his shirt, and used it to wipe the sweat from his face and chest. Too pale, lean almost to the point of incipient famine, but still muscled and male. 

Walter wanted those nipples between his teeth, and Jeffrey was making it abundantly clear that he was more than willing to oblige. Walter shook himself internally. 

"The infirmary?" 

Jeffrey smiled wryly. "Clearly, I don't make a very good whore." 

Yet another intriguing line of questioning that would almost certainly lead to the boy bent over his bench and moaning Walter's name. He schooled his face to implacability, and, for perhaps the thousandth time, gave thanks that his face lent itself so well to such things. 

Jeffrey sighed then, showed signs of being tempted into a pout. Walter was reasonably sure he'd never learn to do that here. 

"Well?" 

"It's the only place on this ship your 'wraith isn't likely to go." 

"I thought so. He has a name, you know." 

"All right, it's the only place *Alex* isn't likely to go. What race is he, anyway? Assuming he's organic at all." 

Walter chuckled. "Silicon-based creatures rarely look at carbon-based creatures the way Alex looks at you." Jeffrey eyed him skeptically. "Well, silicon creatures don't kill us for food, in any case. The scanners insist he's human." 

"Have you checked for viruses recently?" 

"I can understand how Alex might be disturbing, but he's a member of this crew. And so are you. I expect you to... get along." 

Jeffrey snorted. "I'll be sure to remind him of that when he's gnawing on my femur." 

Walter cheerfully ignored that. "I think he could teach you some useful moves..." 

"I think you could, too." 

Blindsided. Point to the boy. Had to reward things like that, had to. Walter sat up, snatched Jeffrey's shirt away and used it to wipe the worst of his own sweat away. Handed it back to the boy. The hungry look in his eyes certainly matched his physique. 

"Tonight, my quarters." 

Jeffrey nodded, swallowed. What had he ever done to deserve *two* boys he couldn't just let himself use, use up in just a few mindless thrusts on whatever surface was available. Care, everything around him deserved care. Walter's days hadn't felt so full in... in a long time. 

And then Jeffrey was moving, coming to a moderately shaky stand before turning to go. Walter watched him walk away until the door shut behind him, idly wondered what Alex would make of such a muskily needful Jeffrey.


	31. Chapter 31

One quick, rough fuck against the wall of the engine room on the day the repair center had released him -- and he had learned from that that Skinner's cock could be as simple a thing as a thumb or his own hand and still be good -- but after that, nothing. 

And the smell of rut had begun to permeate the ship. 

Alex tested the air cautiously, nostrils twitching -- letting the tip of his tongue rest quiet on his lower lip. A strange thing scenting on the Rose of Sharon. 

The air itself was flavorless, but the scents it carried seemed to pop out from it to graze his senses unblended. Harsh, heady, dangerous scents. Poisons and plastics and aldehydes so rich they sometimes made him gag. Ozone and oxygen. The juices and offgasses of subtle machinery. Music. Like Skinner had begun to teach him. Like the sounds of space. All of it came together like the fluid, winding strands of song. 

Underlaying all was Skinner, a scent that was a world in itself. A smell that made Alex ache to make a thing to show how right it felt. What a thing that would be -- to make a song of Skinner's smell, to play it back for Skinner himself so he could know it, like he'd understood about the sounds. The thought pulled at him. To complex, too rich for a pup like himself to worry. Someday maybe, when he was old and his legs were shattered and he could only bellycrawl from bed to shithole in his den he would turn inside and meditate on Skinner's smell. Until then he would just breathe it, taste it, follow where it led. 

Today it led to the gym. 

He followed it down the long narrow corridor, nose wrinkling as he passed the infirmary. The new thing -- this Jeffrey Spender thing that Skinner had brought on board -- was making a nest there. Laying down its own scent strong and thick as if preparing to build a real den. 

Alex stopped by the infirmary door, considered that. The scent of the Jeffrey was not...unpleasing. A male scent, not Skinner-rich, but -- Alex licked his lips, gathered tiny traces -- spicy. Sharp. 

A little sweet. 

It stirred him. And what to make of that? The thing was Skinner's. But Skinner's, how? Like *he* was Skinner's and like the ship was Skinner's -- inviolate, not to be touched or changed by himself or anyone else without permission? Or was the Jeffrey thing like the sonic shower or food from the replicator, something to be used with respect, but freely nonetheless? 

He'd asked Skinner, but Skinner had only chuckled. 

"Ask him that yourself, boy," he'd said and gone back to repairing a patch of gently sparking circuitry under the recyc unit. 

He hadn't yet. If Skinner wouldn't order it one way or another, Alex was tempted to leave Jeffrey in the category of the curved knife. A thing surely to be forbidden to his hand were it known to what uses he wanted to put it, but until that day perhaps a thing to goad him, to make him hard and even run featherlight across his cock and dream... 

For a moment Alex allowed himself the pleasure of his thoughts. Leaning back against the wall, fingers coaxing out the firming heat in his groin. Too long without, but his own hand gave him nothing but release and release was the least part of what he sought. 

It was the hunt itself he craved. And what he did with his prey when he caught it -- well, he didn't have to plan that part. 

And if he did the wrong thing, Skinner's justice would scour him clean. 

He gave himself a hard squeeze then, to quell the growing heat. Jeffrey was no vicious burrowing skalak that required razor sharp senses to pursue, but he had a knack, Alex had noted, for being hard to find. 

And he moved as silent as heat rising off the sands. 

Alex flared his nostrils again, closed his eyes to focus on the twisting strands of scent. Old and new around the den and...changing...when it intersected Skinner's musk. That stirred something else in Alex, some bone deep growl. Because Skinner's scent changed too, became -- softer; the salt of sweat, not blood. 

And it filled him with unease. The Jeffrey thing was soft, and soft was dangerous. Alex turned without pushing off the wall until his belly rested against the warm plastic of the inner hull. He reached out one hand to claw the door. A gesture only. His clawless fingers left only harmless smudges that wouldn't scare a chiz'a. 

But he would know the mark was there. And soon, soon enough, the Jeffrey thing would know it too. Alex straightened then, and sprang up to grasp the hatch that led to the access tubes above the ceiling. It opened at his touch and one quick flick of his agile body and he was up and out of sight. And the tubes would take him anywhere on the ship, silently. Invisibly as wind. The Jeffrey thing would never know what hit it until Alex compelled it to open its eyes and see.


	32. Chapter 32

Jeffrey walked out into the corridor on shaky legs. 

He could put it down to exhaustion, he knew. Or residual spasms from the shocks. Or maybe leftover trauma from ki-- //don't please don't think don't...// He managed to hold the rest of that thought back at least. But he couldn't deny the real reason for his trembling limbs. The screaming thing wouldn't let him. 

He wondered when it had decided that Skinner's cock was to be his only salvation... 

//yes, yes,// the screaming thing gibbered. //tonight he's going to fuck you fuck you yes...// And his balls pulled in like fists clenched tight between his legs. 

Sharp breath in and he knew he wasn't going to make it 'til tonight. Oh, gods, gods. What a thing to have given himself to. No, not a thing. A man. Skinner was a man -- charismatic as a star gone nova in his gruff and silent way -- and just as blinding, searing, maybe. But he was a man. Not a *nice* man...he chuckled again at that, but warm. Powerful. And when Skinner looked at him, Jeffrey felt uniquely *seen*. Sometimes that alone was too much to bear. Certainly too much for his poor aching cock, battering at the confines of his loose fatigues. 

Definitely not going to make it until tonight. A shower and some self-relief would do it, but the shower was in the head and the head was just off Skinner's quarters and the 'wraith -- *Alex* -- was more likely to be there than anywhere. 

And he had little real knowledge of the rest of the ship beyond the gym, the bridge, the tiny galley with its single replicator -- everything that came from which tasted curiously of the Tlosian spice, cerisine. Which left the infirmary. His hidey hole. His home. The atmosphere fell a little short of romance, though. Perhaps Skinner would let him put up wall tapestries in there, drape the biobeds with burnished silks...light scented candles in the Petrie dishes... 

At least move one comfortable chair in there. Skinner could joke about his potential to end up on Alex's dinner tray, but Skinner hadn't been *looked* at with such feral hunger. Oh, hell, maybe he had and liked the thought. [And the cold thing, which seemed intent on driving him utterly fetal with his fears asked him, for the thousandth time what exactly he thought he was doing here with these two mad and homicidal creatures and whatever made him think he was meant to survive?] 

At that thought, he stopped and looked around. Something... He could almost feel hot breath on the nape of his neck. Skitters of fear icing his nerves and a definite rush of blood into his cock that left him panting. But the corridor was empty. Jeffrey frowned. And what the hell corridor *was* it, anyway. Rose of Sharon was not a huge ship, but she was large enough and compact enough to have a small maze of corridors and branchings. And he hadn't really been watching where he was walking... 

Closer to the engines, that was certain. He could feel the heavy throb and draw of the warp core containment field through the walls and floor. He'd gone down then. Down and...aft, if that was the right word. 

The narrow, rounded corridor stretched surprisingly far in either direction. Distantly spaced lights shone through plastic tabs and long stretches of bundled pipe on ceiling and walls, casting odd, angular shadows on the catwalk grate that was the floor. 

He had passed no hatchways, no doors. There were indentations of shadow in the curved walls farther down that might be further branches, might be exits to the upper floors. Another twinge of fear, something stuttering through his chest and he whirled this time. 

Confronted only throbbing silence. Shadows. His mouth was dry, heart hammering. Spooked. Totally spooked and Jeffrey suddenly didn't care how foolish it would look: his hand went to his left wrist. And remembered even as flesh touched flesh that he had left the comm bracelet on the floor of the gym. 

Damnation. A hundred violent deaths to the imp of his vanity and the demon of his lust. And this was *not* the wine cellar of his family's home on Kronos //gone don't think...// and this was *not* the mistghosts of his imagination. 

He was breathing hard now, panting like a blethin run to ground. 

"I know you're there," he called out. 

Nothing. Silence mocked him. His own harsh breathing and the soft rustle of his clothes. Dry throat and still-hard cock and anger rising, mingling with the fear. 

"Well, come *on*," he snarled, pleased to hear at least a little bravado in his voice even if it was cracked along its spine. 

A sound. A heavy thud from somewhere in the engine room beyond the wall and Jeffrey jumped a foot into the air. Landed poised for flight, for ambush, for whatever teeth and claws were about to descend. And nothing still. Nothing. Oh gods, maybe this was imagination. Maybe some huge joke. Perhaps Skinner and the 'wraith were sitting together on the bridge laughing uproariously at the 'Dancing Jeffrey' show on the inboard monitors. He straightened, pulled his shirt to order, ran a hand through his hair. 

And turned. 

He felt it, barely: strike, strike, strike and he was pinned against the wall -- no pain, no blood but paralyzed, not breathing. Blinked. There was a hand pressed hard into the center of his chest and hot sweet breath against his face. And eyes like hot green nebulae, the 'wraith's eyes, on him, not a handswidth from his own.


	33. Chapter 33

Easy to stalk, easy to be feared, easy to catch... Alex pinned the Jeffrey thing to the wall with his body and breathed deep. So much here. Jeffrey's fear, its musk, its rage... 

He hadn't even really touched it yet but it writhed against him, pushed and struggled and... 

"You would fight me?" 

"You think I'm going to roll over and let you kill me, *Alex*?" 

Alex couldn't keep himself from leaning in to taste the anger. "You don't believe me worthy of killing *you*?" 

"Ah. Your idea of a favor. Suits you." 

Calm, low voice. But the Jeffrey thing's heart was beating faster, and there was new sweat on his throat. Alex let his cock drive up against Jeffrey's, caught the moan with his mouth. Everything, he was going to take everything it had within himself and crush it -- 

"Fuck. *This* is what you want, Alex? Wanna fuck me?" 

Use you, take you, kill you... Alex caught himself heartbeats away from tearing the thing's throat out and just breathed. "How do you belong to Skinner? What is your property status?" 

"Belong? Wha --" 

Alex bit down and thrust again, feeling the Jeffrey thing's yell fly past his ear this time. The Jeffrey thing gave off echoes of his presence like wetplanet people sweated, only maddeningly vague. A taste too thin for even Alex to catch sometimes if the distance was too far. 

Alex had thought only his people could do that, and Jeffrey was certainly no kin to him. "Why do you call me Alex?" 

"That isn't your name?" 

He could listen to the Jeffrey thing pant all day... Alex pushed in a little closer, regretfully leaving the smooth, nearly unmarked expanse of its throat for the ear. "It is how Skinner knows me." 

"I could keep referring to you as 'it,' 'that thing,' and 'watchwraith' if you prefer." 

Shocked moment of sameness -- unfair! Alex pulled back to stare, found himself frustrated by another pair of dark, mutie eyes. If the Jeffrey thing's feelings didn't rise from its pores like a newthing's, Alex would have nothing to see, know. 

"Are you a newthing? What is this 'watchwraith'. Not another species?" 

"I think I liked you better when you were just hunting me for more interesting food." 

Alex struck fast, biting at the tender flesh behind Jeffrey's ear until he tasted its blood. Sharper, thinner than he was accustomed to. Perhaps it was all the anger? Alex sucked until the blood stopped flowing, feeling the Jeffrey thing's wrists twist in his grip high above their heads. 

The Jeffrey thing's cock was hard against his own, its breathing even harsher. Alex wondered if it hurt yet, if it would surrender to Alex without more persuasion simply because each lungful of air burned more than the last. "Answer me." 

"I have 28 turns. 23 standard." 

Older than Alex, yet still so soft and smooth... He knew the Jeffrey thing would have no scars at all. No one had owned him, never tried very hard, not even himself. Alex squeezed the wristbones a little harder. If the Jeffrey thing was so unworthy, why did Skinner wish to keep it? Touch it, leave his salt and scent all over its coverings... "And the watchwraith?" 

"A program. A simulation designed to keep children and thieves away from your possessions. Scare the children, stun the criminals --" 

Alex pulled back again. "It can tell the difference between a newthing and a thief?" 

The Jeffrey thing smiled, not the airy thing Alex had seen him flash so many times, heedless of his own projections, but something sharper. If Alex were to hold one of Skinner's blades against, both shines would share a quality of rightness. Could dark eyes see more? 

"No, Alex. There were dead children in every heavily populated 'port city in the galaxy, and putting the 'wraith programs on lower settings just made it easy for thousands of non-Fed ships to be looted. Murderously unsafe or a useless expense, either way the programs are outlawed on most self-respecting planets. No one uses them anymore but fools or criminals." 

Alex felt something start to boil within him, saw the edges of his vision darken. "You would speak of Skinner as such a thing?" 

More sweat, acrid with fear, growing exhaustion. Alex growled. 

"Well, you're not really a watchwraith, are you? You're flesh and blood, you can make decisions..." 

"You cannot *soothe* me." 

"Would you really use up all your chances to hurt me, terrorize me in one shot?" 

And Jeffrey rolled against him, little teasing movements that made Alex thrust several times. Lust was beginning to override fear and anger again... but what was it with these not-kin and *possibility*? They did not take everything they could get the first time. They were all like the sandgazers, people who would sit unarmed and loose-limbed beside a pile of still-sealed rations, content with nothing but sun and cutting sand. 

Honestly surprised to come out of the trance and find themselves with nothing. 

Most sandgazers didn't live very long. And yet, and yet... Skinner was no sandgazer, and Skinner showed him with every touch why he was still alive. Refused to let him regret it. 

And now the Jeffrey thing was offering even more of himself than Alex had rightfully taken, solely to be allowed to live. 

"Why do you love this existence so much? Don't you want more?" 

Alex was being studied again, more obviously and aggressively than the Jeffrey thing had done before. "What more? I know what's here, and I want it. I... I haven't tasted Skinner enough." 

"Skinner is fine, tastes like power my own blood --" 

"I won't try to take him from you, Alex..." 

"I have his promise." 

Jeffrey nodded slowly, still studying him. "See? No need to kill and/or maim me." 

Another disturbing thought. "You would resist Skinner's will?" Not that he'd been very good himself, but the Jeffrey thing had no right no right -- 

"Do you have *any* idea how... strange you are, Alex?" 

"Hah!" Alex made the laughing sound he'd learned from Skinner meant: you think you know things, pup. Laughter. Now *that* was strangeness. Skinner's laugh made him want to cover the man's mouth with his mouth to keep his selfness from puffing out with his breath. And the Jeffrey-thing -- it spoke in laughter like a language, a high-harmonic to his words, saying exactly the opposite sometimes. 

Not that it was laughing now. A little desperation beginning to show in the sag of muscles. It was losing strength rapidly, its energy bled away in fruitless struggles and anger and in talk. And because all the while its cock had stayed hard. Grown harder. Its dark strange eyes were fluttering closed, springing open. Intoxicated by too much adrenaline, burned to ash. Almost time. 

"Alex..." the Jeffrey-thing said. Breathed. Shaking its head, and then letting it fall forward softly to rest against Alex's own. "Alex, please...one way or another. Please. Don't make me wait..." 

The touch of damp, hot flesh against his forehead, wet spring of curls. Alex breathed deep. Rich, rich mix -- the sweetening tangs of dying anger, mortal fear; the hot iron of need from within; a new, sharper need that tasted like himself... He turned his head against the sweatslick skin so he could run his nose along the smooth side of Jeffrey's face. 

Breathed in again, the same and more: sweat, exertion, the acrid bite of the infirmary; the taste of Skinner's salt thick hand upon the flesh. His nose grazed Jeffrey's ear and the body beneath his gave a soft, sobbing gasp and pressed against him. Yes. 

The head against his head nuzzled at him, tongue and lips tasting him. Yes. Good. Yes. Almost and soon. 

"Do not move," he said into the Jeffrey's ear. 

"Even if I could..." the Jeffrey breathed, but it wasn't argument. All fight was gone. Gone. Unbelievable, that a creature that clung to life as hard as this one could at the same time give it up at just a touch. A breath. A word. But there it was. He let go of Jeffrey's wrists and the hands stayed raised and pressed against the wall. 

And had to breathe again, inhale that scent. Faint breath of yeast at the crease of neck and shoulder, and *number uncounted*, it bared its throat to him at just his touch. Oh surely Skinner could not intend for this to be for him. And yet he had not forbade... Alex let his teeth graze the jumping artery below the skin. But no, he knew, already he'd learned too much to simply take. That *was* for Skinner to decide. 

Or Jeffrey. And he breathed again, and used his tongue to find...maybe. Was it there? That rarest scent, the willing sacrifice... Something. Faint. But maybe, maybe. But not enough to *know*. And with that understanding came certainty: he was too young to know this. He had not learned enough. This was not his gift to take today. Not the Jeffrey thing's life. But the rest? 

He pulled his mouth away. Soft whimper of complaint but he moved down fast then, pressed his nose into the soft, pungent moss of Jeffrey's armpit. Breathed deeply and growled low because the gland there sent one message, strong and clear: sex sex sex and *now* and he couldn't resist a bite of that tender, salty flesh. The Jeffrey-thing cried out, arched into him. 

"Please..." 

And down again, folding to one knee, hands steadying the pliant creature's hips. 

Soft, silky fabric under his fingers and his nose lingered at the indentation of the navel, reveled in the sharpness there, the hardness of narrow hips and the maddening scent rising under his chin. 

He could feel the brush of the creature's cock against the base of his throat. Wet heat. Slowly he lowered his head. Sniffed... delicately. 

"Gods, Alex," hoarse voice crackled overhead. "If all you're going to do is smell me, kill me now." 

The words filled Alex's senses, but he recognized the tone as: no, I mean the opposite of what I say. Or something like that. And it didn't matter. He was past the questions, past the worry. The Jeffrey creature had shown himself to be worth...further study. And the buzzing scent in his nose was making him quite mad. He mouthed the soaked fabric, pressed his tongue against the firm, resistant line of heat. 

The Jeffrey-creature made a sound, strained to press against his face. He soaked up the sharp and musk and need upon his tongue, closed his teeth around the head and sucked. 

"Oh gods and flying monsters...take it, take it, *please*..." Harsh, insistent. It sounded like himself in Skinner's mouth. 

Was this how Skinner felt then? Like a man who has swallowed a swelling bubble that stretches at his chest, his throat, his cock? This powerful? He sucked again cruelly hard and felt the first glazed wetness gush strongly in his own groin. The Jeffrey thing was shaking like a leaf, its hips jerking jerking against his palms. 

And used his fingers to flip down the waistband, drawers, yank them down revealing a cock like a jut of stone, purpled and wet and so taut the skin must surely tear. Oh and the smell, the rich and salty musk pulled a groan from his own lips. His mouth watered, tongue lashed out to curl around that head. 

And he could no longer wait or savor, his own need driving him to slide his mouth over it, swallow the fleshy shaft mouthful by mouthful. Slippery salt around the inside of his mouth and Alex knew his was the weakness of a newthing suckling the nipple of its crèche but he could not stop. 

And nor could Jeffrey. Hands in his hair, coursing waves of heat across his scalp. There would be punishment for that, there had to be, but oh he'd make it good. And he let the creature move his head, opened himself to the impalement driven by those battering hips because the Jeffrey-thing was growling: "take it...give you...every...fucking...take it take it take it..." and every word was like a sliding grasp upon his cock. 

He could leave the Jeffrey-thing like this for hours, he thought. Fucking his mouth like stormwind slamming a torn doorseal against a den but never able to break it off. It was a thing he'd do someday, but not today. His own needs had gotten their head and he was as caught up in their grasp as the other was in his and there had been so much he'd been denied these last three days. And with that thought he slid his hands around the Jeffrey's hard and narrow ass, plunged two fingers hard and deep. 

And Jeffrey howled and howled, thrusting hard and wild even as he shot, even as the warm ocean salt of him filled Alex's throat and he swallowed and felt the fire roaring through his veins. 

Oh *this*. He'd missed this, Alex had. Forgotten how fine and plain it was. Skinner was god and sand and light and love and end combined but *this*. This salt and meat and the taste of a young man's thick surrender in his mouth and the simple blinding roar of his own pleasure, earned and without debt. 

This was something that could bind a man to life.


	34. Chapter 34

Walter tossed the engine specs aside when Alex walked in. The boy was flushed, hard, vaguely confused-looking. Walter thought it was probably a good sign for Jeffrey's ability to adapt. 

"Skinner." 

"Mm-hmm?" 

Alex frowned a little more than was his usual. "I was with Jeffrey." 

Walter made a note to check that there remained three living and reasonably healthy creatures on board, just to be sure. "Did you ask him your questions?" 

"Some of them..." Alex looked absent for a moment. "He gave... interesting answers." 

"He's an interesting boy." 

"He is older than me." 

"You're an interesting boy, too." 

"Will I be a boy for so long?" 

Walter wondered when questions like that would start giving him headaches. It seemed like they should, but at this point... Well, hadn't he gone to space for the newness, the difference? All those years ago... "I don't know, Alex." 

Alex simply nodded. Perhaps that was a hard question on his own world, or perhaps he was just accustomed to the ways of Walter's knowledge being... different and new. 

"Are you bothered?" 

"Why do you want him?" 

Walter smiled. "He's interesting *and* attractive." 

"Do you find him... beautiful?" 

Walter took a moment to study the boy in the center of his quarters. Alex was -- consciously or unconsciously -- mimicking the "at ease" position. It simply wasn't possible that a position that left the chest so vulnerable would be familiar on his hellhole of a home planet. 

"I don't know him well enough to know if he's beautiful, yet." 

"But you took him in anyway?" 

"I took you." 

"You... didn't know me?" 

The impulse to laugh at that, to ask how he could have known him was a difficult one to check. Another side to the puzzle. Alex was the sort of thing a Vulcan would build solely to torture himself into further heights of cognitive perfection. Walter didn't have a clue as to why Alex would think Walter had had a real *reason* to pick him up.... 

Perhaps predestination was too cruel a belief to hold on Pax. 

In any case, when cunning failed with Alex, there was only honesty. "I took a chance. If I didn't care for you I could always have killed you later." 

"Killing the unworthy... this is something that comes up again and again with you, Skinner. And the Jeffrey thing." 

"Life isn't always the punishment." 

"I am working on learning that." 

"I know. Come here." 

Alex did so, slid himself up along Walter's body until his head shared the small, battered pillow. He smelled like sex, presumably Jeffrey's. Walter idly considered installing "security" cameras, or maybe just casually ordering Alex to bring Jeffrey into view whenever Alex felt like molesting him. 

He was never going to get anything done again. 

Walter kissed him softly, indulging himself a little. To his surprise Alex opened his mouth and immediately relaxed into it. It would, perhaps, be slightly more comforting if his new crew were just a *little* less zealous about adapting to his every whim, foible. 

But Walter couldn't bring himself to object, either. He ran his hand down and cupped the heavy heat waiting for him behind just one -- knowing Alex -- layer of fabric. Already a little damp. "You liked Jeffrey, didn't you?" 

"I want more." 

"You'll have it." 

Alex shuddered, bucked into his hand and then simply ground himself mercilessly. Walter's palm tingled. It truly had been years since anyone had made him feel like more than simple cock and weapon. He knew Alex would be scandalized and perhaps a little ashamed if he voiced the sentiment, though, so he simply pulled away a little. Settled into the comfortable hollow of his throat and began a concentrated attack. 

And then pushed the boy's hips down until he could unfasten his pants. Walter gave Alex's cock a ruthless squeeze and nearly battened on his pale throat when he felt the moan on his tongue. A beautiful boy, and very simply his. Perhaps he should offer to brand him at some point.... But it would have to be a very precise design. 

He would consider it sometime after he'd taken tonight's, this moment's, fill of metal and hopeful violence, of the silken cock in his fist that seemed almost obscenely like his own. Everything about the boy should be strange, or at least only like those parts of himself he'd never known.   
But he wasn't so strange in Walter's arms, in his fist, between his teeth... perhaps the blood was Alex's way of justifying the connection? Though the boy didn't seem to need one. Arching and writhing and crying so freely. Was Jeffrey outside his door right now? Was he listening?   
Perhaps he wouldn't know whose place to wish for. Unlikely for today, tonight.... But someday. 

Walter pulled back and knelt, looking down at his marvelous possession. While he watched, Alex pulled one knee up and resettled into a new, dirtier sprawl. Walter licked his lips, considered attacking the tight, dark pucker with his tongue. Alex had probably never felt that before. 

His mind reeled at the thought of his wilder, lost Alex. But it wouldn't really be fair to subject the boy to such ruthless tenderness when Walter hadn't really planned to spend the time required to balance his indulgence with Alex's own. 

Maddeningly *logical* that resetting his compass to a morality he didn't much care for would be so difficult. 

He gave the boy's cock a solid backhand, watched seemingly every muscle flex and release in a small wave. Dove in to take it deep, providing only wet heat and suction for several moments of desperation he could taste, then uncovered his lower teeth before pulling off. 

"Skinner--" 

Oh he was close, so close. What to do? Another bite? Vicious pinch? The knife he'd left on the bedside table? And when would Alex take it as his own? Something else to encourage... sometime after Walter could be *sure* there'd be no more self-Patterning. Or perhaps Alex was just waiting until he felt Walter trusted him or or -- 

He looked down to discover he'd been kneading the boy's lower chest and belly, occasionally skipping down to the sparsely haired thighs. A three-knuckle sized splotch was making his already dark cock darker. Encourage more blood to rush there, make the cock harder, the experience more intense... 

There was a base logic to pain sometimes, a comforting state of existence he could gladly share with Alex. A matching set... Walter went for the other side, a forehand blow this time. The sound of flesh on flesh -- too loud and brutal to be sex, but sex just the same -- was something to be eagerly sought. As was Alex's wail, and his thrust into empty air that presaged his orgasm. 

Heavy spurt onto his own belly and chest. The boy could make three days look like two weeks. Surely there hadn't been *that* much rutting on Pax? So much to learn still. Walter felt wonderfully young. Would Alex have such a fine gift for himself in fifteen years? 

Walter ran his fingers through the hot splatters of come, finding the subtly humped surface of the scar he'd left the boy by touch. If he kept getting sentimental that way Alex would be a ridged thing in less than a year. Walter knew he was far too shallow to want that. He would have to find a way around the urge before too much more time had passed. 

"Skinner... so good..." 

He grunted at that, lacking anything else appropriate to vocalize. Settled back against the tapestry covered metal footboard. Watched Alex breathe. 

He would stay here for a while.


	35. Chapter 35

It had taken a solid half-hour for Jeffrey to force himself off the floor. One second he was shooting what felt like his soul down the throat of the prettiest animal he'd ever seen, the next he was on the floor, alone, with his cock out. 

Alex had gone without a single acknowledgment. He knew it was ridiculous to expect sentimentality from either of the other members of his "crew," and he didn't, not really. But it would've been appreciated if Alex had, perhaps, mentioned whether or not Jeffrey would still have to watch his back around him. 

Hmm. 

Well, watch his back for weapons used solely to hurt. Or something. 

At present, Jeffrey had his back to the wall. A position that was becoming familiar, if not precisely comfortable. Maybe Skinner would fuck him against a wall tonight, help him build still more positive associations to erase the mental image of himself *offering* his own throat for Alex to assault. 

The man had sharpened canines -- not savagely done, just a subtle honing. You wouldn't notice if he wasn't smiling in your face. Or gnawing on your throat. 

But oh it felt so good... Not just the sensations -- men and women alike had left their marks on his neck. The pleasure of that was undeniable, rational and... pure? 

Perhaps simply more pure than this, not that *that* task was particularly difficult.... Jeffrey couldn't lie to himself, not on this. Yes, he'd loved the suction. Yes, he'd loved the scrape of those teeth over his sensitized flesh. Yes, Alex's lips were surprisingly, addictively soft. 

But to be so far toward the edge, to grind against a man you could not wholly convince yourself was not truly an animal... Perverse, thrilling. And when he had surrendered, laid his head against Alex's own like a baby seeking contact and intimacy beyond the nipple.... He had meant it, through every part of him. 

Jeffrey did not consider himself suicidal, per se. He had, after all, spent a large amount of time and energy struggling to save his soul. 

But then, most of *that* had involved risking his body far beyond prior acceptable levels. 

Perhaps, far beneath where his consciousness could reach, there lurked some strange morality. Near-Guaranteed Suicide is better than Doing Wrong -- a concept he had often sneered at during many, many children's holos -- or perhaps just something along the lines of Everything Can Be OK So Long As You're Still Yourself In The Morning. 

But what happens after enough mornings have passed that you can no longer remember who you were supposed to be? Not that he'd known before. There should be some sort of mandatory course about figuring out your own identity and learning how to stick with it. 

That thought died quickly in the sudden flash of billions of children growing up to be the petulant brats they decided they were when they were nine or so. Still, though... Jeffrey was reasonably sure he'd never been a brat. It just hadn't been an option, what with not having parents around to act up in front of. And with the servants that all seemed to know him. 

What he wanted. What he needed. What he deserved. 

Jeffrey shivered, felt the stirrings of new arousal. No, old arousal. Old and dirty and... and it hadn't stopped it from feeling good, making him moan, making him come. Nothing stopped anything about Jeffrey's willing abuse until that unfortunate accident in Barn 8 when he was sixteen. 

Accident. Well, in light of recent events and discoveries, the use of that word would be somewhat disingenuous, now wouldn't it? 

Had his father known? If so, how long had he known? Had Jeffrey been... watched? 

Jeffrey pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and *pushed*. The images were replaced by the nova bursts of stars close and far, the imprint on trillions of hominids, the order to search the skies... 

Or maybe he was just punishing himself for getting harder. 

He didn't know how long he'd spent in this place, but he did know the hum of the engines wasn't doing anything to improve his thought processes. He was rank. He needed a shower. 

Maybe Alex wouldn't be there.... 

Whether Alex was there or not turned out to be a moot point. The door to Skinner's quarters was closed and wouldn't open to his touch. 

Disappointed, a faint sickly exhaustion dragging at his heels, alternately heavy and light like a mistuned gravity generator, Jeffrey turned away and trudged back down the corridor to his erstwhile quarters. 

Not even enough energy to towel himself off and he ordered off the lights, threw himself into the cushioned coffin of the med-unit. He checked the shim he'd stuck in between the hinges so the lid couldn't close on him accidentally, pulled a corner of the coverlet he dragged in there the night before over his shoulders and fell so quickly into sleep he hardly had time to let go of waking. 

The strangeness of his days followed him into his dreams and gave them a weirdly linear feel. He was chased or chasing, knowing himself to be part animal, springing, leaping. Pursuing some terrified creature through the house, pursued by servants, by nameless dreads and coming to rest, shivering and panting, in his father's study. His father was in there talking with another man, whose broad feet were set wide apart. Their words were meaningless sounds to him, and although the man was familiar, low to the ground as Jeffrey was in his animal form, he could not see his face. Jeffrey dragged himself across the floor, came to rest at his father's feet. Soon found himself being stroked by hands -- his father's hands -- and thinking, sadly: "Father, I am not this beast." 

But his father set a bowl of cream before him and he plunged his face in hungrily, lapping and lapping like a cat and when he looked up, cream dripping off his lips and chin, all the curtains were on fire, and flames licked hungrily around the cuffs and collar of his father's coat.   
He woke abruptly in the dark with such a deep sense of dread and guilt weighing in his belly that for a long while he thought he would be sick. 

He sat up, shaky limbed, light-headed, still feeling his limbs contracted into an animal crouch.   
Sick, not just in his body but in his mind, his soul. He ached. His stupid cock was half-hard. Dreaming of his father's murder -- //my murder I killed him killed them all..// and his body shed no tears, only slutted after nothing but the touch of a man's hand. 

He ran his hands through his sweat-stiff hair, curls fisted in his grasp: "What is *wrong* with me...?" he snarled through gritted teeth. 

"Serum blood sugar has fallen below optimum levels," said a calm, female voice. 

Jeffrey blinked. Blinked again. Not more than a second for the sense of it to come. He was sitting in the med-unit after all. But still... 

"Are you telling me..." he hiccuped, a short voiceless, stutter that bubbled up atop wild laughter. "Are you telling me I'm h-hungry?" 

"That if I..." Laughter rising. "I'll f-feel better if I...if I *eat* something?" Laughter squeezed his empty gut, shook him hard. 

"You are also hysterical," said the computer. "A sedative is available." 

Jeffrey was laughing so hard now he couldn't answer at all, but did manage to drag himself out of the coffin, one hand clutched around his aching middle, staggering across the floor. 

"You require further assistance," the med-unit chimed at him as he staggered to the door. Oh, definitely, he thought. You know your stuff. He was still howling as the door whooshed open at his careless slap. As he stepped into the quiet hallway. The sight of Walter Skinner and his pet Alex, faces turned in his direction with identical blank, surprised expressions nearly killed him. 

"S'a--s'all right," he managed to wheeze, backing away from the both of them. "Just out to lu- to lunch..." and he turned and whoop-staggered hilarity down the corridor to the galley without waiting for reply. 

He sobered a little in the galley, the hysterics shuddering down to the occasional snort and giggle at the bowl of ceresine-flavored hava soup in front of him. The med-unit had been right about that anyway. Well, right about all of it, really. He was hysterical. He did need help, whatever help there was for...whatever the hell he'd turned out to be. But here and now, on this ship, in this company, it was crazy to think he could be anything but...well...crazy. 

And so what if his body wanted no part of what he'd done? How to expect it to resist the pull of these two men who offered it release from guilt, from shame, from want. That was how they lived, wasn't it? They'd honed the skill of living in the flesh. Of acting and forgetting and paying no price for what was done. What he'd done was right in their universe. Or no, it wasn't right or wrong, it simply was. The consequence of action that had to be taken. But then that implied a value on the action after all...ah hell... He didn't know. He no longer wanted to possess a mind at all. Maybe he'd get Alex to do him a head injury, render him insensible to anything but the constant ache in his groin and its release.   
And a slow sweet rush burled outward from his very center to tingle warmth through all his limbs. 

Skinner's quarters. Tonight. 

Oh, he could lose himself in Skinner, no question there. Enough man there to wipe all of Kronos from his skies. If only he could stay within the blinding circle of Skinner's light he would be fine. He wouldn't have to know about anything else at all.


	36. Chapter 36

It had only taken a few minutes to heal Alex's bruises, but it really shouldn't have taken even that long. Walter was distracted. Jeffrey's scent was all over the room, something he'd been forced to notice when Alex attempted to use the excuse of breaking the seal of another's den to keep himself out of the infirmary. 

It wasn't the most *comforting* thought that Alex was willing and able to adapt and use new brands of reasoning so easily, but it was... good. Sometimes it was too easy to forget the innate challenge of the boy. It wasn't one he ever wanted to solve, after all. 

Walter had hazarded a few guesses about Alex's culture, and demanded to know whether or not Jeffrey had brought his first kill back to the den, or even fought for it in the first place. It earned him a brief scowl, but it also made Alex proffer his arm willingly for hauling. 

It occurred to Walter that he'd been doing a lot of hauling lately, and he briefly entertained the thought of attaching wheels to Jeffrey's and Alex's feet to make it easier on himself. Which explained why he'd been so surprised by Jeffrey's shambling, giggling exit from the infirmary. 

Perhaps he was getting too accustomed to relaxing. In any case, the computer was still speaking rather insistently at Jeffrey's retreating back, and Walter knew it would start yelling, sealing off corridors if it wasn't interrupted. He'd programmed it himself, after all. Anything to make it easier to get himself healthy should he ever return to the ship wounded and delirious. 

He spoke in the "shut up" code and reflected, not for the first time, that he sincerely hoped he'd be able to forget the code should he ever need the computer's Mama function himself. Walter then asked what Jeffrey's symptoms were, and was given a long list of technobabble that eventually added up to "exhaustion, low blood sugar, and incipient mental breakdown." 

None of which was truly surprising, but it did give Walter pause. How much of Jeffrey's obvious desire to make himself fit into all aspects of ship life -- including Walter's own bed -- was the boy's simple scrabbling for solidity of any sort? 

Just because Walter didn't intend to use him, then drop him in the nearest 'port city didn't make it any less wrong for him to take advantage of a Jeffrey in this state. Did it? 

At which point he caught sight of Alex on what was, apparently, Jeffrey's chosen biobed. He was rubbing himself, practically *grinding* himself into the thin mattress, tongue occasionally darting out to lap. 

"What...?" 

Alex ignored him for several more moments, and Walter found himself easing his stance to watch more comfortably. Alex was a beautiful boy, there was no way around that. Walter resolved to find out just who had taught him to move like water. And then Alex was flipping over, settling himself in that grimly expectant pose Walter had come to know as "ready to be repaired." 

"What was that about, Alex?" 

"You said this was an unclaimed den." 

Walter couldn't hold back a small chuckle. "Please try not to challenge Jeffrey to a death-match for it." 

"You stopped me from killing him." 

It was spoken like an accusation, and Walter raised his eyebrow. 

"I would not go against your wishes, Skinner." 

And there was anger there, and real hurt. Apparently, the idea of whim just didn't exist on Pax. Walter resisted the urge to rub the back of his own neck and simply walked close to Alex. "I did not understand." 

"You do now?" 

"I think so." 

And the brief storm passed to return to Walter Alex's strange brand of sunshine. It seemed off the edge of the visible spectrum somehow, the sort that would light on bone and tooth and miss the subtleties of curve and flesh. It was beautiful, just the same. 

Walter wondered if Alex had set some time limit for Walter to correct/explain his flaws as they came up. Before forty-five seconds and all was well. After that would be a whole separate issue. Or something. He ran his thumb over Alex's cheek and stayed there for a moment, drinking the boy in. 

A full shot of Tyrellian "water" would, if survived, make a human numb to most other liquors, and could make taste buds require several reconstructive operations to make them function properly again. Drinking it was considered the first step to a truly spectacular suicide in some circles, and Walter had avoided it. With Alex, though... 

Perhaps the best reason to have and keep Jeffrey was to provide those intermittent doses of normality. It would be far too easy to lose all of himself in Alex, perhaps killing them both in a fit of exultant lust. 

Too easy. He could see the *Rose of Sharon* now, adrift for Christos knew how many years, inhabited by nothing but their own carved corpses. He laughed darkly to himself. Maybe for Alex's birthday. 

And then he'd finally gotten out the regenerator and ran it over the boy's as- close-to-flaccid-as-it-was-ever-likely-to-get cock, checked for other bruising, fingered the tooth/knife marks on Alex's neck, caught the boy's purr in a brief kiss, continued to check for other bruising, and found none. 

The boy would remain unmarked until the next time Walter took him. At which point Alex nuzzled his chest and then faded out of the room. Walter wondered when he'd find out where, precisely, *Alex's* den was. 

Alex would remain unmarked if that instapromise thing was valid for Pattern- driven self-mutilation as well. It probably was. It would almost have to be. Walter had met very few people who actively considered themselves to be complex on more than one or two points. 

And most of them had needed killing even more than Alex wanted it. No, he could trust Alex on whatever promises he'd sworn the boy to, and he could trust him to avoid clinginess, too. 

Though he wasn't *altogether* happy about that, it did leave him the time and energy for Jeffrey. Alex's brand of jealousy was the most livable sort Walter had ever seen. Not even jealousy, really. More like a sort of *directed* curiosity. It had been a good decision to leave Jeffrey open for the sharing. 

Walter knew Alex would go against all natural inclination until he understood -- or thought he understood -- what Jeffrey's appeal was to Skinner. And then he would mold his own needs and wishes to match, and Jeffrey wouldn't stand a chance. Jeffrey would be another T'losian spice on Alex's palate, something new and strange to acquire. 

It probably wasn't precisely right to look forward to the day Alex found Jeffrey as beautiful as Walter himself did, knowing that Alex's beliefs about how to treat beauty were so different than his own, but... 

But Jeffrey needed to have more people prove to him that he was beautiful. Yes. That would help to make him... feel better. 

He barely resisted the urge to throw the tricorder against the wall. There was no possible way to rationalize the use of rationalizations. He's *killed* people for less. No, he *wanted* the boy, and, sometimes even more than that, he wanted *Alex* to have the boy. 

Just to see how and whether Jeffrey would change, lose the stiffness, laugh more naturally... It disturbed Walter that he hadn't really recognized the jagged edge in the boy's laugh for what it was sooner, that the sound of *any* laughter had been so intoxicating as to render Walter as blind to the subtleties as Alex. 

He needed them both here, and relatively healthy and happy. If only so they could both remind him of all the violence, all the care, all the personal interaction Walter's brain seemed programmed to forget at the slightest provocation. He was still a young man, hardly into his prime, he would not let himself become old and confused by the novelty and marvel of having other organic creatures onboard his ship. 

In his home. 

He would grow stronger from his association with both of them, and he would not let either of them break, no matter what the temptation.


	37. Chapter 37

The rest of the daycycle passed in relative peace. Alex and Jeffrey both having evidently gone to ground, Walter's resolution to acclimate himself to company seemed ironic at best. The ship felt unnaturally quiet, empty. More like his old home than it had in months. Not an unpleasant situation, particularly since it was a temporary one. 

Left to his own devices Walter settled back into an easy, well-practiced rhythm of fiddling with the ships' systems, studying reports of Federation activity and scanning the void for the sound of corruption growing. 

Nothing came of it, but he was used to that. Space was big and he was very, very small. Always had been, didn't pay to sweat it. Something would come, it always did. Later he repped himself a meal of prote and root vegetables and ate it in front of the viewscreen on the bridge, with a bottle of real Romulan ale. 

The ale warmed him and buzzed away some of the sharper edges of his thoughts. No matter what its drawbacks, this was the life he had chosen for himself and he knew better than most how many worse ways there were to live. By the time he had showered and ordered his quarters to his liking he was in a fine mood, relaxed without being sleepy; satisfied with the days work. Looking forward, he realized, as the doorchime sounded at the appointed hour, to spending time alone with this 'Jeffrey-creature' -- to becoming better acquainted with this boy/man both so unlike himself and so familiar at the same time. 

"Come," he said and as the door slid open he felt a smile already tugging at his mouth. Anticipation, just for its own sake and there was Jeffrey, looking...well. Smelling clean, curls combed and a little damp, dressed in what Walter recognized to be one of his own discarded tunics, but altered somehow to fit the smaller, slenderer frame. 

"I hope you don't mind," Jeffrey said. "I ran it through the material replicator. I kept the pattern in the buffer though, I can put it back the way it was." 

"Keep it," Skinner said. "It suits you." 

Jeffrey's pleased, relieved grin reminded Skinner that it had not been just a lie. The boy did need a little...encouragement. 

"Drink?" Skinner asked. 

"Definitely," Jeffrey answered. Skinner was already pouring the spirits into two small, stone cups which he held in the fingers of one hand. 

He held them out to the boy who took one of the cups, let his hand brush warmly against Skinner's hand. Yes. Definitely something sparking there. 

Let it spark, Walter thought. He was enjoying the sheer novelty of an encounter with...preamble. Been so long since he'd seduced. Not that Alex's constant furnace blaze was any less whelming for simply being *there* at any given moment. 

But having two spices to choose from did nothing but enhance the prospect of the meal. 

He watched as Jeffrey turned the liquid in the cup, sniffed like a connoisseur. 

Tasted. 

Watched the flush suffuse the soft features of the boy's face. 

The sparkle in his eyes as he glanced up. "Dangerous stuff..." Jeffrey said. 

"Very," said Skinner. He downed his own shot. Smiled as it burned a diamond line down to his belly, spread. 

There was a pause, comfortable, slowly gaining weight. "I went to your quarters..." 

"Yes...?" Skinner asked, intrigued. 

"Well, it was rather uneventful. Your door was locked. The Computer mentioned you were here... it sounded vaguely... smug." 

Skinner cocked his head at the boy, wondering. Jeffrey presented himself at times as this innocent. Not a pretense exactly, but it clearly meant something. To be so coy when he was already hard, his eyes dark with lust that wasn't innocent at all. 

"What do you want to know?" he asked, bluntly. Not unfriendly. 

Walter watched the boy swallow, flush a little more. If he asked something along the lines of "what are you going to do to me," Walter was just going to have to take him right here. "Alex. Tell me about Alex." 

Walter couldn't help but laugh at that. And god he knew in his gut what a *right* thing it had been to bring the 'Jeffrey-creature' on board. 

"Come here," he said, extending his hand. 

Jeffrey looked up from under lashes, not quite so lush as Alex's but charming enough, and laid his fingers across Skinner's upturned palm. Warm, soft fingers. Bitten nails newly evened. So much newness to explore. He led Jeffrey to the viewport in the outhull wall. 

Centered him before the screen, himself standing close enough to Jeffrey's back to feel their mingled heat and reached across the boy's shoulder to the keypad control. Stars blurred and shimmered, reconfigured themselves into new constellations. 

"There," Skinner said, pointing to one tiny cluster of diamond pinpricks in the velvet field. 

"That's...where he comes from?" Jeffrey ventured. Their cheeks were only inches apart and Skinner felt the boy turning in toward him, heard him breathe deep as if to capture Skinner's scent. 

"Where I found him," Skinner said, he touched the control pad again and the screen jumped to a planetary scale. Round curve of planet hung against the black, striated bands of dried-blood red. 

Still leaning close, Skinner felt Jeffrey's body brush against him, pull away. Heard the dryness in the boy's mouth as he swallowed. "A desert world..." Jeffrey said. 

"Now," said Skinner. "Colonization on Pax wasn't quite so smooth as it was on Kronos." 

"You're telling me the Federation did this?" Jeffrey's voice was so low it was almost a whisper.

"They called it a miscalculation," Skinner said. 

"I know why you're telling me this," said Jeffrey, leaning farther away. "You want me to think that what I did was right." 

"That's not my business," Skinner said, giving him his distance. "And you asked. Or was there something else about Alex you wanted to know?" 

Skinner felt Jeffrey stiffen slightly. Then relax. He could almost feel the rueful smile spread across the boy's mobile face. 

"You're very good at this," Jeffrey said. He felt the boy lean back into him, mold himself to Skinner's body from shoulder to heel. He responded by taking Jeffrey's weight, wrapping his arms around him in a low and loose embrace. 

"I am," Skinner buzzed in Jeffrey's ear. 

He felt the boy's hips buck reflexively against him and the pressure sent a warming surge through him again. 

His lips were still by the boy's ear and he took the opportunity to mouth the tender cartilage, nip sharply at the lobe and then swipe slow and wet around the delicately carved whorls. The press of his tongue against the deeper channel evoked a shuddering gasp from the boy. A voiceless cry: 

"Skinner..." 

"I've got you boy," Skinner said, gently. "I won't let you fall." 

He turned the boy around without breaking the circle of his embrace. That flushed face looking up at him, still traces of that smile that would not be smothered, but the eyes so vulnerable. Dark eyes that held no secrets, lips barely parted. Walter lowered his mouth upon that mouth. Met softness with softness of his own. 

Oh, Jeffrey tasted sweet, all right. His eyes fluttering closed fanned Walter's cheek but then his hands came up under Walter's to clasp his back, pull him close and Jeffrey was kissing him, hungrier than anything he'd expected or imagined from the boy. 

It pulled a low groan from somewhere deep inside him and he cupped the boy's ass, pulled him in to grind their hips together. 

Firm and hot. And Jeffrey's mouth was innocent and not innocent at the same time. Plunder me, it begged with lips and tongue and nipping teeth and Walter willingly plundered. 

Took what he wanted, gave what he gave -- the hot, thick sweep of his tongue in Jeffrey's mouth made the boy moan hungrily; wet, open-mouthed kisses along the boy's jaw and down the taut curve of his neck brought a hiss. Brief copper taste -- Walter pulled back long enough to look, found bruises there and he recognized the spacing of Alex's toothmarks scratched into the bite -- and Jeffrey pressed insistently against him, hand riding up his back to try to push Walter's head back down. 

And Walter might have counseled patience, teased a little longer, but something about Jeffrey's hunger was resonating through him like the long, slow tolling of a bell. It called up hungers of his own, not for blood or mastery but for something which he had no name for anymore. He wanted...*this*. Now. Took the boy's mouth with his own again, one hand sliding up the boy's back to unfasten the tunic's simple catch. It parted at his touch. 

The boy said: "Ohh..." into his mouth and Walter swallowed the sound and breath as he slipped the tunic off the boy's shoulders. Such silk under Walter's hands -- Jeffrey's skin was petal soft over firm, lean muscle and Skinner wished vainly for a second mouth to never break the kiss, but he had to taste that fine, fine skin. 

Walter bent to press his lips to the exquisite curve of shoulder and felt warm lips fasten on his own neck, fingers trace the shape of muscles of his flexing back. 

Walter hummed his pleasure, arched a little into the touch. And felt the boy's cock twitch against his own. Innocent and not innocent. Somewhere young Jeffrey had learned to enjoy giving pleasure as much as taking it. 

//But you'll have to just *take* it, for now, boy,// Walter thought. //I'm of a mind to pleasure you without restraint tonight.// 

He pushed the hanging tunic down Jeffrey's body, taking in the firm pecs; small pink peaks of nipples; soft curls of chest hair arrowing to straightness down the belly. The definition of a casual athlete's musculature -- neither whipcord and sinew like Alex's, nor heavy and defined as his own. Jeffrey's angles were rounded, smoothed like hand-shaped clay. 

Walter ran his palms across the flesh, gently catching at the boy's nipples with his thumbs. 

And then slid one hand around Jeffrey's naked back again, pulled him close to bring a nipple to his mouth for a brief experimental suck. 

Took the boy's weight on his arm as Jeffrey's knees wobbled. Jeffrey's head falling back and the boy laughed again. Not wild. A light, rolling laugh. Just...pleased, maybe. Pleasured. 

And Walter couldn't resist, had to have that honey on his lips again and brought his head up to take Jeffrey's mouth again. So good. His free hand still roaming caught the catch of Jeffrey's pants, flipped that open too. Pants and tunic falling, puddling at their feet. Jeffrey slipped the deckslips off of his own accord and the boy was abruptly, wonderfully naked in Walter's arms. 

Walter pulled back again to look at what he'd wrought. Jeffrey's mobile face was rouged with his arousal, bright eyes heavy lidded, that generous mouth moist and curving up at the corners. His long, lean body angled away from Walter, loose and hipshot, cock rampant. 

Nice cock, Walter thought. Of a size. Firm and sweet looking, dusky pink and glistening at the slit. 

Nestled in -- Walter's hand roamed down to tangle gently -- soft black curls. 

"See anything you like?" Jeffrey's voice, brimming with the wry humor Walter was beginning to expect and breathless with unconcealed desire at the same time, gave him another surge of pleasure. He looked up, caught the bright, brown gaze with his own. 

"Yes." 

Lust scorched the edges of Jeffrey's careless smile and he swallowed. 

"Let me undress you?" he asked. Walter nodded. 

And was rewarded for his forbearance. Jeffrey was thorough but efficient -- satisfying only the sharp edges of his curiosity, never lingering too long. Well, almost never. 

"You've seen one before..?" Walter asked dryly. 

Jeffrey looked up, almost startled from the kneeling pose he'd held for almost a full minute. 

"I *thought* I had," he said, blinking, wide-eyed. And Skinner threw back his head and roared with honest laughter. 

"Come here," he said and pulled Jeffrey to his feet. He caught him up in both arms, kissed him, turned them both to bring Jeffrey up against the flickering flame wall. Edged weapons framed them, but the wall itself was only soft and warm. 

Kissing and consuming like the slow flickering flames themselves. And still his hunger grew, slow and rolling warm like a wave as Jeffrey's mouth laid claims on him, as Jeffrey's hands mapped out the territory of his body, as Jeffrey's cock painted his belly with short, blunt strokes. 

So long since such simple contact had made him want like this that when Jeffrey wrapped a long, lean leg around his hip, Walter knew he couldn't wait any longer than he had, had to take the boy now and completely. Reached for the oil he'd set on the low table nearby -- not bannet oil, but *sklaer* -- slick and fragrant and fine as liquid pearl. 

Just the thought of sliding into that firm, sweet flesh -- flesh that he ached to taste, to savor, to plumb with mouth and thumbs and cock at once -- brought his breath hard and fast, and he tipped the bottle into his palm, brought his dripping hand to slick himself. 

Slick the willing heat against which he writhed. 

"I have to take you, boy," he said harshly and Jeffrey whimpered, head slammed back against the wall, turned to the side and nodded, fiercely. 

Then cried out, an unmistakable bleat of need, as Skinner pressed a blunt finger into him and up... 

Fucked him slowly like that, Jeffrey opening to his finger like a flower, head rolling against the wall and crying out to the rhythm of his strokes. 

Walter, shaking from his need, knowing he would hurt the boy some and that would be all right but wanting to make the hurt *easy*, kind. Sweet. And there were words now, or bits of words breathed into Jeffrey's cries. 

"Now..." and "please" and "Now..." and Walter could wait not a second longer. He positioned himself at the boy's entrance, oil running down his thighs and scooped Jeffrey's other leg up, bracing him against the wall, sliding a hand around to take the remainder of his weight. 

Jeffrey locked his ankles around Walter's waist and reached out to steady himself on Walter's shoulders. Their eyes met. 

"Don't look away," Walter said. 

Jeffrey's eyelids furled a bit but he didn't break the contact, neither of them moved, so Walter got to see it all as gravity and oil worked the boy down onto his ready cock. 

So slow -- neither of them thrusting yet for just this one long glide and Walter drank in the pleasure/pain/pleasure/pain flickering across Jeffrey's open face. And the sensation, that hot slick ring of heat descending, enfolding him, the boy's weight a satisfying strain to the muscles of his back and legs -- a heat so gentle it was hard to understand how it was searing all the flesh off Walter's bones... 

Then the last stretch cable of resistance gave and Jeffrey sank down, seated -- sheathing him in molten pressure to the hilt. Walter rolled his head against his neck to stop himself from going over right then and there. 

He felt soft strong fingers grasping at his shoulder, sliding up to clasp behind his neck. Jeffrey's eyes at closed. Lips parted. Skinner felt like a dreamer running through air thick as syrup. He needed-- *needed*-- to get to those lips, needed to thrust and roll his hips, pull Jeffrey up and to him. Did it, feeling the stretch of the other man's tendons, hearing his deeply guttural moan. But, ohhh... Mouth on mouth and the join was like the closing of a circuit. 

Meat and muscle sparked to motion and Walter angled out and thrust, thrust... seeing sparks behind his eyes, sweat and oil lubricating all his moving parts... 

And the hot, burn of pleasure sizzling up and down his back from heels to crown, like the pulse and surge of a warp core unbound by fields of force. He was moving, moving in toward something, each piston stroke driving forth a muffled cry from Jeffrey's mouth into his own; each swallowed cry tripping over another thrust. Jeffrey in his arms like a babe but his cries were a young man's cries and he need was like a small sun, drawing Skinner in and in and-- 

the burn ignited somewhere deep inside his core, spread up and out to all his limbs. He was pounding into Jeffrey now, pounding him against the wall with the force of his thrusts and somewhere the burn must have caught the boy up too because there was a sudden twist and spasm in the legs wrapped 'round his waist, a brief explosion of slick wet heat between them and a voiceless scream that could have been his name... 

And then he came.


	38. Chapter 38

Alex, nestled in the ventilation shaft, watched Skinner and Jeffrey slide awkwardly down to the floor. Jeffrey still had his neck thrown back... the strange... boy... seemed to exist in a constant state of invitation, and yet Skinner had not marked him much at all. His own mark stood out in stark relief even though Jeffrey was still flushed. 

Did that mean Skinner intended Jeffrey to be his? Of course Alex would share -- Alex was rather pleased to see Skinner spend some of his gentleness on Jeffrey -- but if Jeffrey was truly *his*, did that mean his dreams of eventually leading him to a willing slaughter would eventually come true? 

He felt a surge shoot to his cock and settle there, abruptly making him aware that he was hard, aching for touch. He could slip out, scratch at Skinner's door. But was this time supposed to be private? Were his forays through the guts of Skinner's ship wrong somehow? 

There were times when Skinner's body clearly said: "I will be alone," and that was that. Alex would fade back elsewhere. Press himself to the walls of the engine room, feel the thrum throughout his body. Listen to some of the audios Skinner had given to him and look for the patterns. Alex didn't know how he'd spent his whole life up until Skinner had taken him unaware of how.... *everywhere* patterns were. 

Within the body and without, mechanical or organic. It was some strange kinship of flesh to metal that Skinner might understand better than himself. Perhaps the sands of his home had simply been too large and obliterating for other patterns to be supported. Or perhaps if he had not failed so young, he might have lived long enough to understand. 

No matter how freely the blood ran in his veins, he knew he was dead to all who had known him back home. The borya would've made sure of it. He would never be called a man there, he would never be given to a mother, he would never have the honor of fathering a child. Perhaps he might have sired a healthy daughter, and added glory and wealth to all Pax. 

Never now. And it was his own fault, to be sure, but sometimes each breath felt like a mockery to all he had been. Skinner was... so much, but Skinner would probably never truly understand. 

The blasphemy made him burn, but his thoughts would not stop. 

Skinner wished him to be someone else -- no, he wished to add onto Alex's core, complicate his very being with things he never would've seen, never would've known. Scandalized his flesh with tongue instead of teeth. Skinner would still have been a man on Pax, there was no question of that in Alex's mind, but... 

Would he even want to be? 

Skinner didn't seem to appreciate the parity of bone as much as other men Alex had known. He always wanted *more*, in a way that seemed decadent and dangerous to Alex's mind. Even now he was leaning over to kiss and caress Jeffrey so softly... and Jeffrey was moaning into his touch. No lashing writhe of need, this, just... Just something Alex did not think he could ever feel. 

Would Skinner decide he liked Jeffrey's brand of surrender better? Would Alex grow sick of this... *softening* change and slit his own throat? A shameful death, to be sure, but his life was criminal in so many ways from what he'd known. Perhaps he didn't deserve better. 

But he'd be going against Skinner's wishes, and Skinner was the closest thing he was likely to know the truly sandborne... 

Still, though, what if Skinner wasn't close *enough*? 

Alex spared one more look at the people sprawled below, marveled at how *brown* Skinner's flesh was against Jeffrey's own pale pink. Had Jeffrey's world been dark? 

And then he was shimmying silently back through the shaft, a little desperate to return to the small, cool space he called his own. It was a small juncture between curving tubes, and Skinner had casually provided several items of old clothing when Alex had asked. It made for a hard, yet pleasing nest. Small and as closed off as anything on the ship seemed to be. 

Though perhaps it wasn't a good idea to surround himself with Skinner's scent while he thought. Alex froze momentarily, tried to think of another place to go, but everything else seemed so *exposed*... He did not want to give either man the opportunity to read his treacherous thoughts. 

His "den," it would be, then, and perhaps the steadying, intoxicating smell of Skinner would not harm him.


	39. Chapter 39

Jeffrey lay on his back on Walter Skinner's bed and listened. 

He felt more peaceful than he had for...months, really. Maybe ever. Not the numb and jagged peace of total exhaustion that he'd managed here and there, either. This was something different. A slow and steady calm, requiring neither questions nor answers, as though after his long wild flight across the void he had somehow come to rest with his ear next to the pumping heart of the entire universe. 

He smiled at that -- more likely it was just the diastolic throb of post-coital bliss, but still. Just lying where he lay, on the firm, warm bed; wedged comfortably against Skinner's naked heat he felt connected to some larger rhythm. He could *hear* it, feel it -- the subsonic thrum of the warp drive fields, the low steady rumble of Skinner's snores all seemed to resonate within a web of invisible force lines drawn in the immense emptiness between the stars. 

It seemed reassuring in itself, somehow, a pattern that wasn't fixed, that only existed in the relationships between its points and formed itself anew whenever a point moved, or changed or-- 

Jeffrey frowned. The thought had turned vaguely disturbing and his pulped and satiated brain refused to follow it. He didn't want to follow it, didn't really want to know or think. All that would come back soon enough, along with questions he didn't want answered, like where were they heading now and what had frantically scrabbled across the ceiling while he and Skinner lay entwined. 

He wanted nothing more right now than this. Lying, listening, letting the universe turn around him as it would. And though no-one was there to record it, the gentle smile he wore stayed with him, even as he drifted down into sleep.


End file.
